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[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

itself

for
thirst
soul's
the
slake
to
water
as
drawn
lines are
peace these
the wellspring of
From deep within

[antman]

I can dig it Jon, very clever and possibly a new poetry form?

peace and love,
anthony

[PantheUs]

very nice Jon

i miss these creative types
i did read it from bottom to top
and once i got to the top
it seemed to hav a certain
soul to it
which makes this
my favorite kind of Poem

[Marion Poirier]

Ingenious form, Jon and eloquent message.
I'm not sure if I would prefer the
poem written from top to bottom - then
the form would resemble a fountain - though I admire the
creativity and courage of trying something new.
Very Good work!
Marion

[ramadevi]

LOVE THIS!

So innovative and cleverly creative.
I think ee Cummings would have loved this too.

The message and tone are refined and exalted, and the form artistically ingenious.
What more can we ask for?
This is a gem.

Loving regards, dear Jon...
rama devi

PS YAY! Obama won!

[mfwilkie]

Clever, Jon, but I agree with Marion about forming it right side up.

You might consider adding some words to flesh it out.

these lines are drawn to mimic a stream of water
to slake the thirst the soul is seeking for itself.
or

these lines are drawn to mimic the flow of water
for souls who seek to slake the thirst of self.


Maggie

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Thanks Ant, Pan, rama, Marion and Maggie. I could have written it right side up,,,,,,,but I wanted the form to have the feel of water being drawn upward from a well............

[David Nelson Bradsher]

I like the form as is, Jon, with "soul" being the only word that bothers me a little...but I honestly don't know that you can sub it with anything else. The soul is what it is, after all.

[LynnDoiron]

jon -- I like the drawn upward draw of this poem, and much as I agree with David re: "soul", the upward flow of this one hits the spot for me.

lynn

[wavemaker9 (Rick D.)]

It is the only way it should be written. Poetic osmosis.