Deciduous Words

[LynnDoiron]

The first word to crimson while still on the stem
was Eden. She was naked and unlike herself,
gone ruddy-bright in the harsh light of the second word,
the one that began with a bite, tasted like knowledge
and strobed on-off warnings, on-off cautions in yellow.

The third word was green for a season with hope.

Smoke curls pages hung from high branches, curing
these archival floors of palatial libraries without doors.
Only footholds and handholds for levering up
to a paragraph on beginnings are here, appendices on
endings, ibids, et als, marginalia left by woodpeckers
who sought meatier genres in the bark. The dark
run of sap is here for quills to dip into and through,
pen the first garden as female, as her, as Eden

and how we were then. How we were new.

Deciduous words drop like slim yellow minnows,
like garnet and topaz spread hands from maples,
like wired rust rimming oaks’ scallops. We rake them,
fire them with sparks from the stars, arc our arms,
encompass the all of every thing, ourselves, naked.

[mfwilkie]

I am so ready to find the spring that fell off our calendar this year.

This was fun.

[LynnDoiron]

Perhaps in enero?

Yes, this was fun. We should come up with another challenge, maybe post it in the general forum for all who might be interested to take a shot at . . . ? Maybe pick out a painting by some old Master artist and [Toulouse, Manet, Monet, Gaugin, Cassat, Whistler, or the guy who made women so Big and Dimpled, what was his name ... Rubens?] Any one painting by any one artist ... something we could apply our own imaginations and 'deciduous words' to create backstory for either the artist or his rendering or both?

[ramadevi]

Fun, yes, but i felt exquisite suitsit better. I love this der Lynn! What a tone and imaginative imagery.

"The first word to crimson while still on the stem
was Eden. She was naked and unlike herself
and gone ruddy-bright in the harsh light of the second word,
the one that began with a bite and tasted like knowledge
and strobed on-off warnings, on-off cautions in yellow.

The third word was green for a season with hope."


This could stand alone as a fine poem itself!~

Just love it. you are a master.

Bravo. Kudos.
Great ending too:

"We rake them,
fire them with sparks from the stars, arc our arms,
encompass the all of every thing, ourselves, naked,
ready for spring."

So lovely to read you again!

[Sherry Thrasher]

Hello, dear. I read this last week but was nose deep in finals. I woke up this morning and told my Michael that what feels so good about today is that I have nothing due. Now placing philosophy aside, it is time for that which I really do love. I am unaccustomed to reading a rhyming you. The internal rhyme here is spectacular. See, rhyming is not so bad after all if done this well. Glad to see you stepping into the pond. I've pondered and played a bit. Use as you wish and will. Wonderful title!


Deciduous Words

The first word to crimson while still on the stem
was Eden. She was naked and unlike herself,
gone ruddy-bright in the harsh light of the second word,
which began with a bite and tasted like knowledge-
strobed on-off warnings, on-off cautions in yellow.

The third word was green for a season of hope.

Smoke curls pages hung from high branches, curing
archival floors of palatial libraries without doors.
Only footholds and handholds for levering up
to a paragraph on beginnings are here, appendices on
endings, ibids, et als, marginalia left by woodpeckers
who sought meatier genres in the bark. The dark
run of sap is here for quills to dip into and through,
pen the first garden as female, as her, as Eden

and how we were then. How we were new.

Deciduous words drop like slim yellow minnows,
like garnet and topaz spread hands from maples,
like wired rust rimming oaks’ scallops. We rake them,
fire them with sparks from stars, arc our arms,
encompass the all of every thing, ourselves, naked,

ready for spring.

[LynnDoiron]

Sherry-berry! I heard about the potential B+ -- Rock ON! girlie!

I did make one minor change and removed "ready for spring" as an end line, leaving the period at naked.

Thanks so very much for reading my curling leaves!

lorilynn

p.s. I am thinking about your suggestions for slight trims; your version tightens the work up, gets rid of my over wordiness, and I will probably use some in the near days ahead. thanks.

[Sherry Thrasher]

Imagine me trimming your words. Perhaps I am learning something after all. Definite B+ in philosophy but a B in editing. Oh well, simply shows what took priority at 200 pages of reading a week between philosophy and ethics. I'll peek in later on your changes.

Sher

[LynnDoiron]

Hey! Somebody's got to try or I'll drown in them! I did go back in and take out a couple 'and' entries today. I seem to still to need to hang on to 'their' just for the beat of my voice, my particular rhythm [remember, sher-ber, i am post-menopausal -- drumbeats are diff'rent in this neck o'the woods] . . . and I couldn't quite trade off my "the one that began with" for "which" as suggested. I mean, am I not lynn-if-one-word-will-work-why-not-use-five Doiron?

grins, kiddo.

lynn

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Fine voice and a living rhythm, Lynn. The trimming must've worked; it didn't leave me with any noticable gaps. The tightened lines still sing for me. Most excellent Sherry and Lynn both. Ron