Suppressive Need (A Spenserian Sonnet)

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

'Tis love of spirit for a kindled flame
that keeps this ember ever glowing bright,
in hopes he’ll once again affirm my name
as she who'd held his heart that winter night.

But shadows enter, vanquish rays of light;
I hear my mourning soul reveal distress,
apprised by fact, he's drifted clear from sight.
No longer will I feel the pure caress

from one whose likened essence did possess
the tenderness to trap a yearning need
and set my life ablaze with hopefulness.
Now in the end my sanguine dream must bleed.

I can’t forgo devotion locked inside,
although he’s fled, forever he’ll abide.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Theme of lost love, which you write of so well. If it is your desire to find and hold love, I am with you all the way......

One bump.............I found "sanguine dream must bleed" repetitive. That's all............maybe a different adjective.........

Miss you..........................

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

Not sure if it is my desire anymore or not, darling one. Doesn't seem to be in the stars for me. I don't see that line repetitive, using sanguine in the context of

1. cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident

I miss you too

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Thanks, Jo. Unaware of those connotations.............Enjoy the week-end and keep the faith..........

[mfwilkie]

I really like the rhythm in this, JL.

What if you tried this in more contemporary language, though,
with the smallest bit of attitude and a new title as a lead into the poem. I think it would give you tighter images and lines.

That old man of mine...

I loved his spirit, but that long gone flame
of love he burned me with, it haunts my nights.

Mags

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

I might try to do something like that, Mag, if I can even find that kind of voice, but I will not replace this one, as you know my love for this kind of writing is unsurpassed. But perhaps I can create a companion piece in your modern language, not sure I have that in me but I'll see if I can.

[mfwilkie]

Remember the V in that sonnet you wrote back in the day?

It's there!

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

but even that one wasn't totally in that modern tone, it was kind of a mixture, you know?

Envisioning a pool of virgin red
a knife within your hand your fear is shed

it's a mixture

[Marion Poirier]

JL, the sonnet as written is lovely; I don't find anything
I would change. I discovered a new meaning for the word
sanquine. I, too, was thinking of it in terms of bloody,
but found there are multiple meanings for the word.
Still, I think the most common usuage is one referring
to blood; therefore, it would seem redundant to precede
the word so closely. Here is what I found from Dictionary.com
for those who are wondering like myself if it is correct or not.

san⋅guine   /ˈsæŋgwɪn/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sang-gwin] Show IPA Pronunciation

–adjective 1. cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident: a sanguine disposition; sanguine expectations.
2. reddish; ruddy: a sanguine complexion.
3. (in old physiology) having blood as the predominating humor and consequently being ruddy-faced, cheerful, etc.
4. bloody; sanguinary.
5. blood-red; red.
6. Heraldry. a reddish-purple tincture.
–noun 7. a red iron-oxide crayon used in making drawings.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Origin:
1275–1325; ME sanguyne a blood-red cloth < OF sanguin < L sanguineus bloody, equiv. to sanguin-, s. of sanguis blood + -eus -eous
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.


I enoyed the sonnet, fine work; however, I'd prefer a
simpler title - however, voices and styles differ.

Marion

[sandpiper]

Hi! Here's a couple thoughts on a couple of the lines for this... I like it, and I didn't know that definition of sanguine either. :-)
-piper



'Tis love of spirit for a kindled flame
that ever keeps this ember glowing bright, (that keeps this ember ever glowing bright?)
in hopes he’ll once again affirm my name
as she who held his heart that winter night. (as she who'd held?)

But shadows enter, vanquish rays of light;
I hear my mourning soul reveal distress,
apprised by fact, he's drifted clear from sight.
No longer will I feel the pure caress

from one whose likened essence did possess (I always have trouble with the use of did... I would prefer "once possessed" here and run the risk of the "ed" at the end for smoothness)
the tenderness to trap a yearning need
and set my life ablaze with hopefulness.
Now in the end my sanguine dream must bleed.

I can’t forgo devotion locked inside,
although he’s fled, forever he’ll abide.

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

Like those thoughts, I'll think upon the possessed line, I don't really have a problem with it and probably will change it for here. Have it in a contest on another site and those people aren't as liberal. Thanks so much Piper