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Post by Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47 on Dec 12, 2008 23:50:34 GMT -5
I act in a passion play whose lines float toward me from a deus ex machina, but have been scripted for someone else. While I watch from the wings of an albatross in flight, night heaves its chest in the throes of delirium.
I become separated from the substance of reality
and yearn for the stage that supported me; the words that kept me grounded.
Swimming with a dolphin, I realize our shared language may be fragments of Atlantis which inhabited a stage of its own...
long gone, yet present in the pores of understudies begging for starring roles.
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Post by ramadevi on Dec 13, 2008 4:57:32 GMT -5
Namaste dear friend. this is an amzaing poem, rich with subtle nuances, and I must read a few times, savor some more, before writing a solid review.
Just wanted you tonknow my initial response is WOW.
HUgs, rd
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Post by Ron Wallace (Scotshawk) on Dec 13, 2008 19:31:05 GMT -5
Interesting and a bit of different voice from you, Jon. It may be my early reading so I'll come back after a couple more. Ron
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Post by Marion Poirier on Dec 14, 2008 21:49:14 GMT -5
Jon, my conclusion is that this is a surreal poem - so it is not to be taken literally. However, pardon my ignorance, I don't know what you mean by deus ex machina,
I may get it after some research - maybe not; very interesting read and much food for thought, my friend.
Marion
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Post by mfwilkie on Dec 16, 2008 4:21:04 GMT -5
Nice draft, Jon. i really like your opening.
My only nit is the use of "clinging closely".
I think you can say it better. It had me in the water.
How's the knee doing?
Mags
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