Prayer to an unknown lover (ver 3)

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

Prayer to an unknown lover

She is a poem of salt and earth,
of the matrimony of sand and stone,
of a barefooted maiden who walks naked
through a sage-green forest’s streaming light.

She sighs to the blue wind,
blows the smoke of fire
between the tiny crevices
of a volcano’s crust,

through her ruby heart
once made of beige sand,
once made of yellow stone.
Through the blazing river of ages
that rubs stone and banks sand,

she is different now
yet the same—
her brown earth,
her white salt.

[Marion Poirier]

Leo, this poem has a dream-like quality - almost surreal
but earthy. I interpret it as a nature poem - perhaps you
are having an affair with nature in a spiritual sense;
however, I wonder if you have taken into consideration:
she is as cruel as she is beautiful; therefore,
I find it a paradox. I shall accept it for what it is,
an imaginative mood poem filled with lovely imagery;
I love your use of colors.

Interesting voice as always that can be interpreted
in a number of ways. I wish Freud would whisper
in my ear - that would be a fascinating analysis.

M

[Marion Poirier]

Leo, I like the title - very provocative.

In S2, L1, I suggest sighs rather than moans - that has
a negative connotation in contrast to the the subliminal
language - that comes across to this reader.

M

[Sherry Thrasher]

Prayer to an unknown lover

She is a poem of salt and earth,
the matrimony of sand and stone,
a barefooted maiden who walks naked
through the streaming light
of a sage-green forest.

She sighs to the blue wind,
blows the smoke of fire
between tiny crevices
of a volcano’s crust,

through her ruby heart
once made of beige sand,
once made of yellow stone.
Through the blazing river of ages
that rubs stone and banks sand,

she is different now
yet the same—
her brown earth,
her white salt.