A Poet Wrings Her Hands

[dmtimney]

if I could say or better
describe the abhorations of this
day when I am left alone without
myself for good company
with this me I do not know
or care to be acquainted

I would swim far past
the breakers and happy tourists
to scream out loud
cut that blade through water
it would not disturb the sea
or move the sky to tears
they have there own
business, nothing changes
everything laterally
inaction is action
how can I know all this
and still remain so small?

today I don't want
good news or bad,
no rise or rest,
to be loved or love
this is the fifth season
a gestation of indifference
all thought and none
at all, alone with this
sometimes me that I
do not care to know

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

An enigmatic offering, Donna. Yes there are at least several parts comprising the whole entitity, and to indeed, become whole, it is incumbent, not only to the poet, but also to the rest, to accept and embrace them all. Without doing so, we remain partial strangers to ourselves. Thank you for reminding me of this......With love, Jon.

[mfwilkie]

I like this, Donna.

Have a bit of a knit with the transition from the 1S to the 2nd.
Could be just a first read. off to read slower.

Mag

[dmtimney]

Thank you, Jon...and Mags. I've spied the nit at which you pick...working on the fix...I see the jump to S2 rather than the smooth slide...I'll fix it...I also see there instead of their (oh man!)...by the by...where the hell are ya???

[ramadevi]

A thoughtful, self-reflective write.
Smooth and no nits.

love, rd

[Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner]

Donna- I think this a marvelous piece... upon first read I was swept along, easily following flow and form... smoothly written. I like the wistful quality, the introspection it brings and the resignation that even though you recognize your plight you can do nothing about about it except wait out the "fifth season" as you put it....

a couple nits though:

S2 there = their

inaction is action and to be loved or love -- thought these lines were mildly cliche... not dramatic but distracting for me...

All my best- Michael (Surprsed to see me?)

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Hey, lady, I like this; it has an esoteric flair to it, but it works for me.

I spotted Mike's S2 nit{their} is right. The cliche is very mild if at all there in S3. I'd end S1 with the word {with}. Never fear dangling prepositions. What about S2, line 9 {everyting moves laterally}

Regardless, great stuff, so good to find a lot of returning writers. Ron