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Post by LeoVictorBriones (poetremains) on May 22, 2009 15:38:47 GMT -5
I purposely slip into the state I call cave dwelling. Simplify my life by hiding behind the blue speaker on my desk. I rely on surrogates to pronounce my grievances— The Who screams, “We won’t get fooled again.” I twist the tuner because that’s as cynical as any love song I’ve ever heard, maybe Johnny Cash all in black, as honest as a man can be about, "The Beast in Me” is the spin I'm looking for, I can’t really be sure. Still, I like the pounding of the woofer boom, boom, boom. “To all the girl I loved before,” I twist catlike, not sure I like Julio mocking me. Then like the thin breeze in the full sun, it sneaks up on me—right here in my cave behind the big black wire, static electricity everywhere, “Yahweh, Yahweh Always pain before a child is born.” I’m really not ready to crawl out into the neon light. But that’s more like it.
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Post by Marion Poirier on May 23, 2009 21:50:37 GMT -5
Leo. I guess you'd like some feedback on this so here is my two cents worth. No charge. M I purposely slip into the state I call cave dwelling. Simplify my life by hiding behind the blue speaker on my the desk. We know it's yours. I rely on surrogates to pronounce my grievances— (ditto)The Who screams, “We won’t get fooled again.” Who is Who?
- The theme song from CSI MiamiI twist the tuner because that’s as cynical as any love song I’ve ever heard, maybe Johnny Cash all in black, as honest as a man can be about, "The Beast in Me” is the spin I'm looking for, I can’t really be sure. Still, I like the pounding of the woofer boom, boom, boom. “To all the girls I loved before ;” I twist catlike, not sure I like Julio mocking me. (one less I)Then like the thin breeze in the full sun, it sneaks up on me—right here in my cave behind the big black wire, static electricity everywhere, “Yah weh, Yah weh Always pain before a child is born.” I’m really not ready to crawl out into the neon light. But that’s more like it. Good ending. Kind of a fun poem. Interesting and imaginative - you sound young at heart. LOL!
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