Boston Common (Rewrite- New Title) Rev. 1

[Marion Poirier]

Note: deleted the epigram at the end.
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Boston Common


A gaunt young man draws attention
outside Park Street Station,
an empty McDonald’s cup
in shaking hands.

I stare at an American flag sewn
high on his khaki sleeve and wonder,

Whose son is this?

Dark glasses, unshaven face
protect identity.

Can you spare anything, Ma'am?

I place a crumbled bill
in the paper cup.
He blesses me.

Bless you, too, I reply.

The old North Church clock
chimes nine times as I rush
past the Veteran's Clinic,
restored to house homeless vets.

I walk up the hill -
turning left on Beacon,
to the State House;
a sweeping stairway leads
to the impressive brick building,

the genuine gold dome glistening
in morning sun.

[sleepsw/bear(Rick Stansberger)]

I was moved by this. I'd like to see it end with the glistening gold dome. What a contrase!

Rick

[Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner]

very poignant juxtaposition in this piece... gold domed building contrasted against the begging with a mcdonald's cup.... seems some priorities got mixed up along the way....

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Still impressive, stark and solid. You've crafted this well, possibly my favorite of your works. Ron

[Marion Poirier]

A note to thank the poets who responded to this
version of the poem.

Michael, my sentiments exactly.
Gold domed roof, indeed. Hard to believe.
I found that information on the Web.

Ron, thanks for the feedback and comments.
Your positive attitude always encourages me.

Rick, curiously, it has been suggested
before to end the poem with the gold dome.
I'm pondering this idea.
The epigram is actually an American haiku -
not to be confused with authentic Japanese poetry.

Marion

[Ron Buck (halfshell)]

again... another work paired down to the essential where less is more... it is the common thread in all your poems... a style which you own.

tidings
ron

[Marion Poirier]

Thank you, Ron. I toned it down a lot - a simple style
seems to work for me as an observer, rather than
a commentator; let the scene speak for itself.

Marion

P.S. I deleted the egigram as it only repeats
what I wrote in the last stanza in different words.