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Post by ramadevi on Jun 2, 2009 6:40:27 GMT -5
Poetic heartbeats sigh
as shifting sun-colors fly
crimson, orange, violet, lime
laugh and cry,
stain the sky.
My soul wears a golden flame-
exquisite elegance
that boasts no name.
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Post by Marion Poirier on Jun 2, 2009 11:48:54 GMT -5
Lovely, Rama.
One suggestion. In the last strobe:
exquisite palette (an example )
I'd use a concrete image here rather than an abstract
or general one.
Regards,
Marion
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Post by ramadevi on Jun 3, 2009 1:37:03 GMT -5
Thank you dear Marion. Actually, I prefer the abstract! But maybe i will fit the palate in there as well. It's a nice idea!
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Post by Ron Wallace (Scotshawk) on Jun 5, 2009 15:30:59 GMT -5
Excellent, Rama, a couple of possibilities to look at, but regardles well done. Ron
Poetic heartbeats sigh
as shifting sun-colors fly
crimson, orange, violet, lime
laugh and cry{,} as they
stain the sky.
My soul wears a golden flame-
exquisite elegance
that boasts no name.
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Post by ramadevi on Jun 6, 2009 5:46:05 GMT -5
Thanks Ron, I love your suggestions.
HUGS, rd
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