The Editorialist

[David Nelson Bradsher]

The Editorialist

His job is nightly, smiting simpletons
in smaller hours set with smoky haze.
He’s an assassin. He projects, like guns,
and fires bullet-words, grenades in phrase,
hitting all targets. He’s a deadly shooter,
so keep your ass down low. He’s on a mission.
Staccato bursts come from his Dell computer—
another victim for the first edition.

[mfwilkie]

D,

Here's an idea to add to tone:

He’s an assassin. He projects, like guns,
and fires bullet-words, grenades en phrase,

I know you'll probably have spasms with this suggestion,
but what about adding another word to end this.

Staccato bursts come from his Dell computer—
another victim for the first edition
bleeds.

Mags

[mfwilkie]

I'm thinking the Meter Police will forgive you for ratcheting up the V even more.

[sandpiper]

I like Maggie's suggestion, and maybe also "bursts fly from his Dell", as opposed to "come from his Dell"?

[ramadevi]

A brilliant write! Love the tone, the erhythm, the internal rhyming.
Content...A+

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

I'm going with: I really like the message and clever language. I'll not venture out on suggesting meter changes to you. Maggie's far braver than I on this road. For me the whole thing works as it is. Ron