|
|
Post by MichaelFirewalker on Jan 8, 2008 12:56:58 GMT -5
well!----here, you have truly piqued my curiosity, bright one----you are remembering, and that is good----me too----gets kinda scary sometimes when the Akashics open into your soul and begin to speak----the poem is terse, tight, and a justice perfectly balanced----excellent, as usual...
michael
|
|
|
|
Post by syzygy73 on Jan 8, 2008 13:04:41 GMT -5
Mr Saturn,
I admit to an envy- this is terrific, I love the idea behind it- I like the symbolism, the balance of the poem and the lovely fluidity of the language- almost stream of consciousness.
A great write as it is- leave it be- it has served you well.
Regards
Rob
|
|
|
|
Post by mfwilkie on Jan 8, 2008 20:53:34 GMT -5
My only nit, John, it's lack of punctuation.
Nice poem.
Maggie
|
|
|
|
Post by David Nelson Bradsher on Jan 8, 2008 22:06:53 GMT -5
Nicely done. I do agree with Maggie about the breathless nature before a break, though, and...
... sitting across my desk (did you mean 'sitting across my desk from me'?)
|
|
