Aubade To A Restless Sea (new title and revision)

[Tina (Firefly)]

Write of the sea, he said, as if it were the first time..

but every time is the first, every deep look
into the bottomless jade swells frightens me
with waves of raw lust, pulls me to dive
into a wild life where sharks

dart, manta rays fly and fling salt under
a gone-crazy sun, swordfish stab and flip
like warriors battling a shifting moon.

You sink into me like a lunatic lover, drown
me in your cold cruel might. I will die
but won't remember anything
but your mad love.

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

Read this...like it a lot...the enjambment then you stray...the ending could be a bit less obvious...let me think about this one for a few weeks. I'll get back to you.

[ramadevi]

I think i agree with Leo. I like it alopt but will think more and retur.n..

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Write of the sea, she said, as if it is were the first time..

I like the metaphor in the final stanza very much.
I don't picture sharks darting......minnows maybe, or smaller fish.

like child-warriors playing on a Sunday afternoon. (extraneous to my ear)

I found it hard to reconcile the"bottomless cold jade frightens me"
with the playfulness that follows.....

You have the makings of something really good here, T....I might rethink it conceptually.

[Tina (Firefly)]

Thanks so much..all of you! I've changed a few things and let's see where this takes us.