Seeing Blue (Adult content warning)

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Seeing Blue

I wasn’t born to turn to porn,
but nothing else made sense
when I could cum for wealthy scum
who never spared expense.

The films I made were first displayed
at drive-in’s where the cars
came rolling in for shows at ten
and smut beneath the stars.

As windows steamed, I moaned and screamed
on screens Godzilla-big,
screwing the guys with redwood size,
when most possess a twig.

The stores were next, as undersexed
executives would roam,
select and pay for things that they
could never get at home.

The Beta tapes were home escapes,
followed by VHS,
and now you see, on DVD,
a clearer view for less.

To rent or own, a man alone
can sit and get his rocks off
to films of me with one (or three)
that knock (one of) your socks off.

The public tries to moralize
my billion-dollar crotch,
but have no doubt, your secret’s out:
I know you like to watch.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Good title, nice personification of pornography..........with sarcasm to boot.....well done

[mfwilkie]

D,

Each stanza seems to be a complete thought except this one;
It leaves you wondering why she didn't become a good RN, etc.

Mags

I would’ve been a good RN,
a CPA or lawyer.
Instead, I fuck to make a buck,
thrilling the random voyeur.

[Sherry Thrasher]

I didn't get that the speaker is a she. Hmmm...could go either way if seems.

To rent or own, a man alone
can sit and get his rocks off
to films of me with one (or three)
that knock (one of) your socks off.

D-Ber, these lines seem forced to me. I know they work but knocking socks off is so cliche. I don't know what to substuitute with but I know you have something else that would work instead.

The ending is a hammer.

Sherry

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Thanks, Mags and Sherry. I'll take a look at the changes you suggest. Mags, I may just need to nix that stanza because you're right that it seems out of step with the rest.

Sherry, without being too obvious, the single sock reference has a method to the madness, but I'll think about it.

Thank you both.

[mfwilkie]

It might just be the that the stress on voyeur is on the second syllable, D and not the first that's throwing my ear off.

[David Nelson Bradsher]

I think that word can be stressed iambically or trochaically, Mags.

[mfwilkie]

Uh-uh.

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

I think you revised this from my first read...very clever social commentary.

[David Nelson Bradsher]

You got me, Mags. Of course, I win 2-1 for the day.

Thank you, Leo. Oh, and go Lakers! ;D

[mfwilkie]

It reads much better, D.

In my mind, the jury's still out on the one, so the score remains a horse apiece.

Check your mail when you get to work in the am. ;D

BTW, I don't know that I can ever forgive you for that
Laker cheer, mon ami.

[dmtimney]

Metered social commentary...whatever will they think of next.? Good write, and while I understand the opinion that "sock" may seem a forced rhyme or cliche, in this instance it fits the topic..very ummm..."American Pie"...at least that's how I read it.

I have to say as one just stepping back into the room, I found this an interesting departure of topic for you.

~Donna