It's a Whole Long Story

[mfwilkie]

Latest revision:

Dispossessed by an uneven squeeze of umber
streaking what's left of my room and too thin
to split a skeletal shade of moon-nearing-midnight,

I let one leg, crazy with tequila, snap
the buttons on your spell then fired
every archangel named Michael for

not tending to the cry of canyon coyotes
held under a bell jar by greed and excess,
and what's been forgotten.



Original draft:

Dispossessed by an even squeeze of umber
streaking what's left of my room and too thin
to split a skeletal shade of moon-nearing-midnight,

I let one leg, crazy with tequila, snap
the buttons on your spell then fired
every archangel named Michael for

not tending to the cry of canyon coyotes
held under a bell of waste and want by
what's been forgotten.





Inspired by (pilfered) from Lynn's Loco Moon ;D

[LynnDoiron]

great pilfering, mugs! but during the pilf, you dropped a couple esses out of dispossessed ... maybe by intention? like hansel's crumbs?

held under glass is the only spot where i want a jar or some vacume or hollow or encasing that is dimensional to be the coyote glass.

you made me go back and read loco moon. now, i can sense or see places in need of of, hmm, alteration. thanks.

c.b.b.

[mfwilkie]

Found the s's, c.b.b. and got rid of the glass.
Then went streaking.....................!

Mugs

[LynnDoiron]

I like what you did; the bell gives the idea of shape, and I think 'bell jar' but that might be because of the earlier use of glass and the shards still in my head ....

bell of waste [might biff 'and want'] by / what's been forgotten.

[mfwilkie]

I think I have it where I want it, chicky.

Thanks for the nudged. Mugs