Flight

[dmtimney]

the call rises with the sun
pounds hard against
the temples of city
scrapers
bound by the limits
of design

she’s drowning in the glimmer
the spray of purpose
without purpose
gasping for breath
in slow twisted cadence
a ritual play of echo
in a note of sadness

intent to answer
her heart provoked
wraps fast against chance
lofts a high strand
of sun-bleached hope
escapes in the billow
to a pebbled shore
the imperfect edge
of earth
a sanctuary of spirit
the boundless visage
so various, so beautiful
no tears could wash
the color from this sky

true success
strung to the discovery
of a new world
by weight
of character
tethered
on a length
of string, tail and
kite

[LynnDoiron]

donna! I read this the other day and so enjoyed the rise and the tethering. Really good stuff here. I wanted to come back when I could read more carefully, perhaps make some thoughtful comment. Here's the thing: I've never been crazy about abstracts [purpose, sadness, chance, hope, spirit, beauty, success, character], but you wind enough concrete details and imagery in and through this poem so that what I find after reading it again, and again, is a poem about realistic strivings, striving for changes that are anchored, achievable. What I'm trying to say is that I like this poem for what it leaves me with, for what it says, for what it offers.

Least favorite line is the opening; seems like it dodges cliche, but just barely. If mine, I'd leave out 'higher' for A call rises with the sun

lynn

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

Oh Donna, so much said in this. It's beautiful. I agree with leaving out higher but I'd replace it with urgent maybe, it needs more than just a call, something that directs it.

Good job, friend.

[LynnDoiron]

I'd argue that the direction is there with the rise and that the urgency comes in the lines that follow in that opening stanza. But, as you all are aware, I am often wrong in my arguments (hope you'll keep that in mind!) Great write, in any event.