Draft

[mfwilkie]

I am as far east as I can manage
without giving up my life to this dull stretch
of sea in which I'm floating out of season,
far from reason, listening to the ache of gulls,
hoping for a school of words to carry back
across the dunes.





I'm floating out of season,
as far east as I can manage
without giving up my life
to this dull stretch of sea.

[Marion Poirier]

Maggie, a suggestion to incorporate
some of my favorite lines. The stanza break
gives the piece a pause between thoughts..

Marion

I'm floating out of season,
as far east as I can manage
in this dull stretch of sea.

Listening to the ache of gulls,
brings me a school of words
to carry back across the dunes.

[papazendada]

This poem has strong roots, but in reading it
I already imagine the sea, so there is no need to mention it

"I am as far east as I can manage
without giving up my life to this dull stretch

I'm floating out of season,
far from reason, listening to the ache of gulls,
hoping for a school of words to carry back
across the dunes."

by the way, we were once published in the same journal

"Put Your Dream Away" is a beautiful poem

[mfwilkie]

Gosh, I haven't thought of that poem in ages.
Kat had a nice thing going there; hope she's still at it.

I like your line breaks, and you're absolutely right about not mentioning the sea.

Maggie