|
Post by mfwilkie on May 7, 2008 23:23:50 GMT -5
My ears hurt, muh cara!
First draft:
The chair's bamboo. Intricate. Feminine. A sound design of Filipino tree- bones who've evolved, become a table at my bedside, fitted with tempered glass across a caned, contrasting lap I've set/put a lamp on. Ask me why I brought her home I can't say more than she appealed to me. To me, who can't stand prissy in any form we women force—it was a dress, an eighth grade-opening day fiasco meant for Easter. Not for recess.
Unknowns: won and lost in power plays. My muse wants me to celebrate.
First revision:
The chair's bamboo, intricate, feminine— a sound design of Filipino tree- bones re-thought—she's used as a table by my bed, fitted with tempered glass across her caned, contrasting lap to hold a lamp. Ask me why I brought her home I can't say more than she appealed to me. To me, who can't stand the prissy poses we women force. It was a dress, an eighth grade-opening day fiasco meant for Easter, not for recess.
Unknowns are won and lost in power plays I might explore one day.
And thanks for the conversation today; it moved some things out of the way.
Red
|
|
|
Post by David Nelson Bradsher on May 8, 2008 14:26:25 GMT -5
Mags-
Some changes for you.
The chair's bamboo. Well-crafted. Feminine. A sound design of Filipino tree- bones who've evolved, become a table at my bedside, fitted with tempered glass across a caned, contrasting lap I've set a lamp on. Ask me why I brought her home. I can't say more than she appealed to me. To me, who can't stand prissy, shown in any form, we women force—it was a dress, an eighth grade-opening day fiasco reserved for Easter. Not for recess.
Unknowns: we won and lost in power play moves. My muse wants me to celebrate.
|
|
|
Post by mfwilkie on May 9, 2008 1:15:33 GMT -5
D,
I kept intricate because 'well-crafted' means the same as sound design. And this chair is all that.
Thanks for the look-see.
Here's the latest revision. Read this to Lynn tonight and she gave me a good suggestion that led to another revision.
Mags
The chair's bamboo, intricate, feminine— a sound design of Filipino tree- bones re-thought. Fitted with tempered glass across her caned, contrasting lap to hold a lamp by my bed. Ask me why I brought her home I can't say more than she appealed to me. To me, who can't stand the prissy poses we women force— from way way back. It was a dress, an eighth grade-opening day fiasco meant for Easter, not for recess.
Unknowns are won and lost in power plays I might explore one day.
|
|
|
Post by David Nelson Bradsher on May 9, 2008 7:11:56 GMT -5
I like it losts, Mags. Sorry I didn't get to call you back yesterday. I'm in the office now.
|
|