Advice to the Girl Dating Narcissus

[mfwilkie]

Draft:

He offers you a foolish love—
if love sees only mirrors in your eyes
and leaves no room for him
to contemplate your counter-offer—
the capability of a willing heart
to understand his flaws and love
him back with grace through all of yours.

It's love defined by the word test-
imonial—his past of me
and I and mine fill every line
and every image one can conjure, not
the we, the us, the ours two need
moving forward where self and choice
maintain their voice and their security.

Try moving him to the desert
and see how long his love survives.

[Marion Poirier]

I'll have to come back to this, Mags.
I only read it once and this old lady is tired;
however, I think you need some stops in your
sentences as they seem to run-on.
Now - I'm not looking at a manuel for the
definition of a run-on sentence -
but if it quacks like a duck - it probably is a duck.

I don't like unfamiliar words - probably my insecurity -
mostly because it targets an audience - I've never
seen the word imonial before - and hope I never
see it again - - just kidding,

I'll be back later when my brain wakes up.

M

[mfwilkie]

The word's hyphenated, Marion. It's testimonial.

There's still some work to do on this to smooth it out.

Thanks for the read.

Maggie

[wavemaker9 (Rick D.)]

I like where this is going Maggie.
The desert wouldn't be so bad and could make his love more in tents.

R (sorry)

[mfwilkie]

Don't ever apologize for being a Master of creating smiles, Rick.

There's simply not enough of that good work being done.

Maggie