Offline (revision by addition)

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Offline

_R.O.F.L.

You were a master of the internet,
a virtual maestro of the acronym,
and though we all say, “I’ll be missing him”,
I won't suppose the fun is finished yet.

No one admitted if you told them why
you chose this cemetery for your plot,
or why you picked this tilted, hillside spot,
but since you’d vowed a humorous goodbye,

I’d guess the placement was intentional.
I almost hear you giggling as we stand,
off-kilter, on a sloping patch of land,
mourning. Your wit was unconventional,

and with the eulogy the pastor gave,
with that abbreviated epitaph,
I think your purpose was the final laugh,
which has you rolling over in your grave.


Offline

_{R.O.F.L.M.A.O.}

No one admitted if you told them why
you chose this cemetery for your plot,
or why you picked this tilted, hillside spot,
but since you vowed a humorous goodbye,

I’d guess the placement was intentional.
I almost hear you giggling as we stand,
off-kilter, on a sloping patch of land,
mourning. Your wit was unconventional,

and with the eulogy the pastor gave,
with that abbreviated epitaph,
I think you meant to have the final laugh,
and now you’re rolling over in your grave.

David Nelson Bradsher

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

David, This is a fine elegy. I like the attention to the deceased intent especially as related specifically to the acronym. However, I do think as an epigram before or after the poem. Otherwise, it is so cryptic no one will ever understand the true meaning of the poem. Also I think the final line can reworked to be bit more clever...perhaps...and now you're doing cartwheels in you grave. Nice. Thanks for the read. Leo

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Thanks, Leo, for the read and the time. I was struggling with how best to introduce the ROFLMAO, and perhaps an epigram would be the best way with another title. Many thanks.

David

[brianedwards]

The epigram works for me.
The only slight bump I had was last line of S2. Every other line (I think) contains a self-contained clause or idea, except this one. Perhaps intentional, but it pulled me up to question why. Perhaps I'm off.
A small nit in an otherwise very enjoyable elegy. Good to read you again sir.

Happy New Year!

B.

[mfwilkie]

D,

Looking at this again, from several angles, while dressed in cap and cape, you might re-think its conclusion.

here's a thought:



No one admitted if you told them why
you chose this cemetery for your plot,
or why you picked this tilted, hillside spot,
but since you vowed a humorous goodbye,

I’d guess the placement was intentional.
I almost hear you laughing as we stand,
off-kilter, on a sloping patch of land,
mourning. Your wit was unconventional,

and with the eulogy the pastor gave,
with that abbreviated epitaph,
I think you meant to have a final laugh
at our expense with the angle of your grave.

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Revision up.

[mfwilkie]

Expanding gave you more clarity, D. Nice.

[ramadevi]

Much enjoyed this clever romp!
Great closing!~