Meter (Take Two)

[Sherry Thrasher]

Take Two:

Meter

While waiting for the pizza to brown,
just as the ghost of Larkin arrives, I push my essay aside.
It’s all in the rhyme, in the way you say it, it's all in the count--.
He draws his cardigan around him, leans down to pet the neighbor’s dog,
walks away, worn brown leather shoes
tapping his stride-- ta Dum, ta Dum, ta Dum, ta Dum,
ta Dum. I close the oven door and agree he is right.



First Attempt:

While waiting for the pizza to brown,
I push my essay aside, just as the ghost of Larkin arrives.
It’s all in the rhyme, the way you say it, it's all in the count--.
He draws his cardigan around him, leans down to pet the neighbor’s dog,
and walks away with worn brown leather shoes
tapping out his stride-- ta Dum, ta Dum, ta Dum, ta Dum,
ta Dum. I close the oven door and agree that he is right.

[Marion Poirier]

Sherry, I think the problem here is that the poem
is ambiguous and clarity is needed.

Perhaps a footnote is needed here.


Marion

[Timothy Juhl]

Sherry, I have no issue with the ghost of Larkin, having read quite a bit of his poetry over the years and I think it works just fine.