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Post by mfwilkie on Feb 15, 2009 3:59:10 GMT -5
In Gene's noble house....
the walls of his salon speak with a voice you don't expect from the assertiveness of red; it's a room that hasn't over- stated itself and yet it flames your sense of comfort, so much so, you find it hard to keep your shoes on in the midst of well-dressed guests and their best behavior.
You want to make the den your own, send everybody home (send Gene to David's for the night) and fill the hours you've stolen with classical jazz, the BeeGee's and every bit of MoTown you can squeeze from the radio now that those shoes of yours are finally off and there's no one around to guilt you about the relationship your feet are having with the cushions on the sofa.
But you don't, because you need to walk those shoes to the dining room and settle a miff among a fifth of poets who can't decide what shade of elegance has been put to use or why they feel so at ease in the company of crystal and lace. They debate these things with both cheeks full of Sherry's good food. Your shoe catches a crumb and for once your glad you kept your feet in your shoes.
The best of evenings always saves the best for last, though. Imagine the best, a kitchen of brightness and brass, three pairs of hands passing eclectics and reclaimed glass, remnants of attentive hours, from one generation to another to the dishwasher. Imagine the vibration of women's words with no need for poetic device. Imagine the air begining to chill; imagine Cher asleep beside a puppy and one of my shoes.
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Post by Timothy Juhl on Feb 15, 2009 9:05:27 GMT -5
Hey Maggie,
I like this on the first read through, I especially love the repeated 'shoe' image and that is the binding thread here. Interesting in the appearance of the lines; V1 is shorter, the lines shorter and it even feels as though it was the warm up to the poem which seems to take flight in V2.
While I know the names of the players, the presence of these three individuals would limit the universitality of the poem for others and would make it feel like a private moment they were not privvy to.
Just my thoughts. Tim
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Post by lizbethbrown on Feb 21, 2009 0:30:37 GMT -5
for me, the poem starts with "You find it hard to keep your shoes on" i'm not sure what is going on before that. but from then on, you capture the need for luxury and snuggling into your home after a tired day. the way you describe it comforts me, as do the people in the poem and your descriptions of them. makes me feel i am floating on the pillows with your resting feet. i like that.
what do mean by "a fifth of poets"? i read bukowski last night, so of course, i assumed they were drinking (ah, but not alone - lucky them). interesting adjective that gets me thinking.
"what shade of elegance" is a great line in this context.
i love this line: The best of evenings always saves the best for last, though. although i think the rest of V is too wordy. there's a bit too much poetic device, which is odd, because you then address just that issue - "with no need for poetic device."
lovely. makes me want to drink sherry with poets.
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