Nookie Alarm

[Sherry Thrasher]

Your bird sounds like he's having sex.

My mind skids on Oh, God!
I mean I've had the damn bird
for twenty-five years.

I cover him with blankets each night.
He presses his beak through bars,
pulls a piece of the blanket in tight.
He gnaws until he chews a hole,
turns his head and peeks right through.
He watches me with one red eye-
recording my nights.

[Tina (Firefly)]

Sherry, this did give me a chuckle. ;D It seems to me, however that it needs more..perhaps another verse or two.
The last line is a really good one and I think you paint the picture well. Gotta say that I don't love the title.

[purplejacket]

I really like this - very fun read. I read it fast because of the 'skids.' I agree about the title too - maybe something to insinuate surveillance would be fun.

Also, since the eye is a lens, you don't gain anything by calling it one. I think you're looking for something that says 'camera,' without saying camera, so maybe aperture would work.

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

Yeah I'd probably vote for a title change as well. Maybe for that line you could just do

He watches me; one red lens-
recording my nights.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Very cute, Sherry...........