Indigo Blue

[dmtimney]

Come, spend a day
with me in Possibility
we'll plant a flag
declare our own nation
wade waist deep
in sea grass, do a hula
laugh until our cheeks
pain with happy

sit back to back
in sand the night
has painted indigo blue
still, as photographs
of wind, see who breaks
the silence

we'll each take lovers
perhaps the other
and forget why our eyes
were once puffed
and streaked with red
when we mistook
all love for dead
and buried it alive.

we'll dig for souls
the birds have left for
lack, the ones we hid
behind something un-
important, feed them
endless feasts of wine
and chocolate cake
until they are pursed
and fat with passion

let's make love until
the world falls off the
wall, until we believe
in each other the way
the devoted love their Gods

[alfredo]

I only fell in love with this at "we'll each take a lover".
Is it possible to begin it there
...where it glitters?

Also last stanza; consider:

let's make love until
the world (e.g stops spinning?) falls off the wall, ...

OR anyway, something less hackneyed)

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Donna, love the voice, forgive all the punctuation; it's the English teacher coming out in me. Stanza four is kind of confusing for me, but hell we all know I'm easily confused, and while I really like the ending, it seems a bit abrupt. Don't touch the "falls off the wall" line, too good to be messed with, and the opening seems good to me as well. Great stuff as usual. Ron ;D

Come, spend a day
with me in Possibility{;}
we'll plant a flag{,}
declare our own nation{,}
wade waist deep
in sea grass, do a hula
and laugh until our cheeks
pain with happy{.}

Let's sit back to back
in sand the night
has painted indigo blue
still as photographs    no comma after "still"
of wind, see who breaks
the silence{.}

We'll each take lovers
perhaps the other
and forget why our eyes
were once puffed
and streaked with red
when we mistook
all love for dead
and buried it alive.

We'll dig for souls
the birds have left behind for
lack, the ones we hid
behind something un-
important, feed them
endless feasts of wine
and chocolate cake
until they are pursed
and fat with passion

Let's make love until
the world falls off the
wall, until we believe
in each other the way
the devoted love their Gods.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

I was quite taken with this one, Donna. I felt the expansion of possibilities, indeed. Very unique and imaginative.........

I like Ron's tending to the grammatical aspect, and I would only add a period to the penultimate stanza, and decapitalize Gods.

Hope you're well and hope to see you one of these days.......Jon