Marriage before Sex (adult theme)

[alfredo]

unfolding form-silent
wrenched inside’s
as heads and lips collide
what was forbidden is permitted


within your fertile fields
at last
gambolling dreams
to floating
blossoms beneath
spiritual, exquisite,
peace

[mfwilkie]

Had time for one read through tonight, 'fredo.

Like what I read. Back with some thoughts later.

Maggie

[Marion Poirier]

Alfredo, I came back to this one several times.
It is difficult to review one so personal. Finally,
I am convinced that you are revealing too much.

If you want to convey a spiritual
experience, you can't have it both ways.

My suggestions follow:


unfolding form-silent
wrenched insides
as heads and lips collide
what was forbidden is permitted

each tongue
tastes the other
hands stretch and dive
warm scents arise
what was hidden is revealed

self and selflessness
trust, lust, offer and sacrifice,
you cast yourself about
and so doing
pluck me from myself
holding above my naked
inside-out.
revealing my inner sanctum
that which I hide from myself

locked together
deep in love’s
cherried cellars
bathed me
in devastating reds
I beseech,
an echoing
arched, contralto
while you, downwards remove my soul

coloured shadows twitch
amid flickering psychedelic
arrives the sound
of baritone moans

abandoned breath
as creation races death;
comes the deafening roar,
of life’s exquisite gush

within your fertile fields
at last
gambolling dreams
to floating
blossoms beneath
spiritual, exquisite,
peace

[alfredo]

Thanks, taken on-board Marion (hope it's not over-board?)