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Post by Jo Lynn Ehnes on Apr 2, 2009 14:51:29 GMT -5
Hell found me. I was standing at an altar in a white wedding dress that sunny day in May. I, Melisa Swan, at the age of 23 became property of a demon disguised as my groom. I would have thought all those years of church, every Sunday morning and evening and every Wednesday would have enlightened me to such evil. I thought I'd been trained in discernment but had fallen prey nonetheless. His handsome features and persuasive sweet talk had cloaked the truth. After just a few months he had stolen the light from my eyes; I lost myself. So there I sat right in the middle of Hades listening to toxic words that poisoned my mind and kept me locked inside a nightmare while dodging punches. Sure I had visions of a brighter world and dreamed every night of what love should have been but for me there was no hope. What could I do? The decision held finality. If I must burn in hell forever I'd not do it as this man's wife. Funny, he looked so peaceful in that eternal sleep. Almost like an angel. But what I had to remember was even angels could be evil...so evil that they were banned from all of heaven...and this is where it all began.
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Post by mfwilkie on Apr 3, 2009 2:04:49 GMT -5
I like this, JL. I think you might tighten these sentences up a bit. Especially the last one; it's length and the ... dillutes the irony.
Maggie
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