Ron Buck (halfshell)
EP Gold 750 Posts Plus
EP Word Master and Published Member
-------- ecce signum --------- ------ behold the proof ------
Posts: 988
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Post by Ron Buck (halfshell) on Apr 25, 2009 8:00:37 GMT -5
Spring Elopes (ver. 2) .
Fat cardinals covet the bowers but cannot escape their bright capes, unlike the Jays darting the cork of a dimpled feeder that flows onto the grass.
All of the doves sprinkled with seed dance without quibble beneath the lilac reaching green.
Who turns in the wind above the garden but an unwelcome pirate who scuttles the trim yet departs empty.
Spring Elopes .
The fat Cardinals covet the bowers but cannot escape their bright capes, unlike the Jays darting the cork of a dimpled feeder flowing onto the grass.
All of the Doves sprinkled with seed dance without quibble under the Lilac reaching green.
Who turns in the wind above the garden?
A lone descending pirate makes an unwelcome visit; scuttles the trim, but departs empty. [/size]
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Post by mfwilkie on Apr 25, 2009 20:40:22 GMT -5
Hey, there, first read is great. Going out to read myself tonight. Catch you when I get back.
Maggie
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Post by Marion Poirier on Apr 26, 2009 11:46:49 GMT -5
A lovely spring poem, Ron. The caps slow the flow though it may be intentional - deem them unnecessary. Great visuals.
Marion
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Post by mfwilkie on Apr 26, 2009 16:39:36 GMT -5
Some great stuff in here, Ron.
Made some suggestions on trim, and left an alternative ending to feed your muse.
Fat cardinals covet the bowers but cannot escape their bright capes, unlike the Jays darting the cork of a dimpled feeder that flows onto the grass.
All of the doves sprinkled with seed dance without quibble beneath a/the lilac reaching green.
Who turns in the wind above the garden?
an unwelcome pirate who scuttles the trim, but departs empty.
Who turns in the wind above the garden but an unwelcome pirate who scuttles the trim but departs empty.
Agree with M re: caps.
Maggie
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Post by Ron Wallace (Scotshawk) on Apr 27, 2009 17:37:20 GMT -5
Always a fan when it comes to your stuff: Love "Who turns in the wind above the garden?" and that lone pirate. Ron
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Post by LynnDoiron on Apr 30, 2009 11:22:38 GMT -5
ditto what Ron said above.
lynn
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Ron Buck (halfshell)
EP Gold 750 Posts Plus
EP Word Master and Published Member
-------- ecce signum --------- ------ behold the proof ------
Posts: 988
|
Post by Ron Buck (halfshell) on May 6, 2009 4:33:38 GMT -5
THANKS ALL FOR THE LOOK... SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RETURN.
MAGS... LOVE YOUR SUGGESTIONS! MARION... JUST PLAYING AROUND AS USE UAL... THANX FOR THE INPUT....
LYNN AND RON MINE EYES ARE MUTUAL.
TIDINGS RON
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Post by ramadevi on May 25, 2009 9:57:34 GMT -5
Ditto Ron and Lynn.
Lovely spring flavor.
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