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Post by Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner on May 26, 2009 14:41:55 GMT -5
I have been playing around with "speed writing" giving myself a set amount of time to complete a poem... "speed poems" I know some poets use this technique to create snippets and such that they will later use to buoild upon. All am I trying to do is capture the raw thoughts and knock the edges off, when the timer goes ding the pen drops.... This offering was done in five minutes.
A door opens to
purple sky
slices of you
mixed with
banana daiquiri
smiles
half hearted looks
and strato-caster
strumming
a world of soul-dreams
naked before the masses
uncaring
indifferent
apathetic
where butterflies
are never caught
and tire-swings
become immutable
and immovable
defiant against
the morning breeze
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Post by ramadevi on May 27, 2009 0:01:09 GMT -5
Sometimes the raw spontaneous writes are most powerful because they come from a different side of the brain and directly from inspiration.
I Love this. A powerful poem! So well phrased.
No nits.
Tight and polished. AMAZING!
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Post by Ron Wallace (Scotshawk) on May 27, 2009 11:32:26 GMT -5
Mike, old buddy, that's pretty damned impressive for five minutes. I can see you taking this and building more from it, but I've gotta say it's pretty good as it is. Really good to see your work again too; I might add. Ron
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Post by Marion Poirier on May 27, 2009 15:39:49 GMT -5
Whatever works for you is the best way, Mike.
When I try to do anything fast all I get is a panic attack.
I'd like to see this piece refined, polished and pruned;
that's where the work begins. Some unique thoughts here -
I could probably get several poems from these thoughts,
all the better - since a poem is started from a seed.
I don't see how everything is connected and relevant as
written, but you have the seeds planted for a poem or
two or three.
Marion
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Post by David Nelson Bradsher on May 29, 2009 6:38:44 GMT -5
I'm with Marion on this, Mike. What you wrote is stirring, and I think these five minute exercises will often result in a finished poem without jostling them anymore, but I'd like to see this one with the veneer of more time on it, just to see what occurs.
I love the speed writing. It helps the poet get out of his/her own way.
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