After Last Night's Violet Sky

[mfwilkie]

At five-o-nine dark grey rose.
Sound was every bird for a hundred miles
the kettle argued with. On page four
of a borrowed book, a young boy screamed-
my hand tightened its hold on the image-
by page six, my tea and I had left this world.

[David Nelson Bradsher]

And I left the world behind when I read this, Mags. Better and better, mon ami.

[Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner]

Last line suggestion.... by the turning of the page, my tea and I had left this world. Just a thought..... nice mags!! -jarls

[Ron Buck (halfshell)]

I like your use of numbers in the opening, mid-stream, and kicker... placement throughout the poem has a beautiful linear swing that clings to the conversing realms... very brite, activated work. nice.

tidings
ron

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

"Sound was every bird for a hundred miles
the kettle argued with."

The line aboves ardues with my Okie ear, but I like nonetheless; the whole poem's a winner in my book. Ron

[ramadevi]

Superb!
Love this.
This is an outstanding example of the art of showing not telling.

BRAVO!

[Ron Buck (halfshell)]

just dropped by for another read. wherever this came from follow it... just top notch and inspiring!

tidings
ron

[Angel Clementine]

Maggie,
I loved the softness and brevity with its homespun, clear imagery.
*Angel*

[mfwilkie]

Thanks for sharing your reactions, guys and gals.
After some detective work, we figured out that the violet sky
came from the concentrted light of three green bulbs behind us
and the high walls about the patio.
Beautiful, but what a bummer.

Maggie

[Ron Buck (halfshell)]

still works for me on every and all fronts!

tidings
ron