The power of myth

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

Because I refuse to sit
on the red therapist’s couch,
look down, one more time,
to wonder who it was
that etched in the mahogany hand rest,
“He’s totally nuts!”

Because I refuse to take another whiff
of the reeking pony tailed , fading hippie healer
and his obviously “Trader Joe’s” organic something deodorant.

Because I refuse to listen to his platitudes
pound on my forehead like a rabid woodpecker⎯
Did he say yet again
the right side of the brain
is where we store memory
and it knows neither time nor space,
So the pain of hearing,
“He died at 9 p.m.”
is as intense now as it was then⎯
did he say it?

Yes he did! Yes he did! Yes he did!
And five-thousand dollars later⎯yes, he did again!

Yes, because I refuse to navigate
the same ocean,
the same wave,
the same ripple,

I will garden.

Grind my knees into the soil, pack dirt under my fingernails,
pull a seedling from a plastic carton, smell the sweet, sweet
of spreading jasmine as I put it into the ground,
compact a mound of protective soil around it’s stem,
then reach over and pluck a budworm from my favorite geranium,
flick the little green and lavender monster into the ivy
knowing he may be back soon but respecting
his Can-Do insect spirit too much to squish him⎯

knowing, because the right side
of the brain knows neither time nor space
and the pain of therapy is the same now
as it was then⎯

I will garden.
.

[Tina (Firefly)]

I love this!! Just a little revision needed for polish, but man! I was cheering and up on my chair by the ending. Righteous indignation rules!! Bravo.

[Marion Poirier]

Very good poem, Leo. I like the change you made in
the last stanza in Ver. 2.

The writing on the chair added a bit of wry humor to
a somber subject in the original - couldn't help smiling,
is less funny now. (maybe it's not supposed to be)

I think the repetition in S4 is a bit over-done,( I would)
but in zinc with your voice.

S3 is a bit awkward and run-on, could be smoother
but all in all very fine work.

Great ending verses and sound philosophical logic.

Marion

[sandpiper]

I'm absolutely nit picking here, but it's all good- I'm totally nut had me laughing, and 9 p.m. made its point quite clearly, so you had me throughout.
just a few minor thoughts...
--I think I'd hyphenate organic-something.
---the pack dirt under my fingernails seems like it's not quite there yet... I want more from that line, and it doesn't quite get the feeling of the dirt there like it should. Your writing normally does, but unfortunately I'm not figuring out exactly what would make it work in my mind, so I'll think on that one..
---the comma in sweet, sweet is throwing me a little. I'm not sure it's necessary?
---its stem, instead of it's stem..
--- the can-do insect spirit took me a couple times to realize I wasn't seeing can-do insect instinct. Though I wouldn't suggest that as it's quite a tongue twister. just a side note of what I read when I read it.
I've missed reading here, and am very glad I stopped in and saw this one.
-piper

[antman]

What would Freud do?
He'd blame it on the cat,
do you still want to garden?
Nice one.

peace and love,
anthony

[Marion Poirier]

Leo,

It defies logic that the narrator would keep
going back to the therapist to the tune of
five thousand dollars when the N obviously
holds him in such distain. I can only conclude
the first part of the poem is satire whether
intentional or not. I liked the original where the
words are in the I person engraved
in the arm of the couch.
There is a line here between black humor
and the intense grief of loss, and finally
self-healing.

In the first line it may be intentional that
you have the red therapist's couch rather
than the therapist's red couch.

This one takes on additional meaning
with each read.

Thought provoking.

Marion