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Post by ramadevi on Jun 21, 2009 2:18:54 GMT -5
Revision one
The days and seasons spin around life's wheel, and each one plays a part in his own fashion. Busy chasing dreams, imagined real, we're fueled by purposeful pursuit of passion.
Seeking peace we tap into the source- where light and breath remain untouched by time, as life and death traverse their destined course across celestial orbits so sublime.
A gull's sharp cry on wind will fiercely ride, then drown amidst the steady sounding roar of ocean's ever-present, rushing tide whose song is sung upon eternal shore.
Though woe and sorrow shadow love and joy, 'tis grace that makes us see our life's a toy.
original
The days and seasons spin around life's wheel, and each one plays a part in unique fashion. We're busy chasing dreams, imagined real, and fueled by purposeful pursuit of passion.
To thrive in peace we must tap our true source- where light and breath remain untouched by time, as life and death traverse their destined course across celestial orbits so sublime.
A gull's sharp cry on wind will fiercely ride, then drown amidst the steady sounding roar of ocean's ever-present, rushing tide whose song is sung upon eternal shore.
Though woe and sorrow shadow love and joy, 'tis grace that makes us see our life's a toy.
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Post by mfwilkie on Jun 21, 2009 11:01:02 GMT -5
rama, rama, rama! First read I love this.
There are some inversions and a few small nits to fix but it's terrific.
Be back in a bit.
Maggie
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Post by Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner on Aug 8, 2009 14:40:49 GMT -5
Excellent writing my friend... a wonderful sonnet with beautiful imagery and description! I love it. hugs Michael
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Post by Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47 on Aug 9, 2009 14:52:50 GMT -5
"Though woe and sorrow shadow love and joy" Nicely expressed, rama........Namaste
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