Endings - Edit #4 - Slight Changes

[mfwilkie]

I like this a lot, M.

That's a killer ending!!!

Some thoughts:

Endings


Chimneys spit ash
over roof tops
into a darkening sky.

The barren flowerbed
fills my senses with loss.

Nothing lasts forever
but the dust.

A giant oak trembles
above its________ trunk/above ________bark*
Spent leaves swirl in the gust
around an unused bird bath

but they will come again
to nest in the trees.

Unlike love, they are predictable
and each waits for its own season.

Twilight descends—
a violet curtain
on the last bent sunflower.

In either spot, a two syllable adjective, I'm thinking, M.

Nice draft!

Maggie

[Marion Poirier]

Thank you, Maggie, for your suggestions;
most helpful.

Regards,
M

[mfwilkie]

I think your 'last' reads better than 'lone', M.

Maggie