You've Got to Love a Language That Can Twirl!

[mfwilkie]

I said, Let's write a book,
and he mistook my invitation
for flirting. Follow me, here, ladies:
he only owns one pair of boxer shorts.
They're white. Unused.
That they are silk is in his favor.

Briefs seem to fit his IP tendencies,
and even though he's slightly shorter
and horizontal mumbos tend to even out intentions,
I like some mysteries left to my imagination before
the lights go out. It gets much worse.
He rhymes.
I don't.

[Marion Poirier]

Written with your customary good humor and wit,
Maggie. Just playing around with it here.
I think that by eliminating the last line
in S1 makes it more like a dry humor that
needs no further explanation.
The last stanza is great so I'd like to see it
separated from the rest.
My suggestions are only subjective and really
nothing needs to be changed except there
should be a semi-colon after intentions (miniscule nit).

M
------------

I said, Let's write a book,
and he mistook my invitation
for flirting. Follow me, here, ladies:
he only owns one pair of boxer shorts.
They're White, unused.
That they are silk is in his favor
(You might want to combine this stanza and first half
of your second one.)
Briefs seem to fit his IP tendencies,
and even though he's slightly shorter, comma
and horizontal mumbos tend to even out intentions. period

I like some mysteries left to my imagination
before the lights go out.
It gets much worse. (line by itself)
He rhymes in predictable lines.
I don't.

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

I am trying to categorize the nature of this affair. Give me time.

[ramadevi]

LOL

Writ with wit!~

I like it just how it is.