Another of the Greatest Generation

[Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner]

Under the noon-day sun
seven shots
echoed across
the cemetery glade
the last of three volleys
as I stood resolute-
salty wet tears stinging my eyes
for a man I never knew

An uncle by marriage whose
quality and character
were never revealed to me in life
but clearly made manifest
by the flag draped across
his ornate coffin
and the honor guard
whose aim sent twenty-one
piercing bullets
straight for my chest.

[dmtimney]

I really like this one...couple of suggestions though...and I think that if you are referring to a 21 gun salute that it only applies to head of state, not an honor guard for those entitled to military burials...unless of course you were referring to the numbers of total bullets dependent upon how many there were in the honor guard which can vary greatly.

I would omit the first line, "seven shots" is the stronger opening. I also tweaked the tense to bring the reader more into the moment.

Good write.

Hugs,
~lil sis

Seven shots
echoed across
the cemetery glade
the last of three volleys
as I stand resolute-
salty wet tears stinging
for a man I never knew

An uncle by marriage whose
quality and character
were never revealed to me in life
but clearly made manifest
by the flag draped across
his ornate coffin
and the honor guard
whose aim sends twenty-one
piercing bullets
straight for my chest.

[mfwilkie]

The opening rounds do need to equal the images, Michael.

You might say:

The first volley of shots

Nice talking with you the other day.

Mags