Some unforeseen consequences of the war in Iraq

[LynnDoiron]

I like this. I can't decide why, but I feel something missing, not fully satisfied, when finished with the read. Feel my problem may be with the last stanza, but can offer no suggestions as to why. sorry. Love, love the opening two stanzas.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

good use of specifics in S1.
I looked up doxy and found it to connote a female.
Nice parallel thoughts in final stanza. (one clarifies the other.)

[MichaelFirewalker]

fuck that suckin' war and every son-of-bitch who birthed it !!!

I sure pray this poem ain't real...shoot, John, it isn't, is it?

michael

a statute toppled, right...

[johnnysaturn]

Michael, you should have gathered by now that I'm a chap of a metaphorical bent; actually at this stage,, it's more of a metaphorical stoop.

[sleepsw/bear(Rick Stansberger)]

I like the poem, assumed that the doxy was a female soldier. I like how the poem pans out to a larger image, the toppling statue, from the smaller images of socks.

[MichaelFirewalker]

okay, John, I'll just stupe away, then...

relieved michael

[mfwilkie]

It works, but I think it's a poem that needs a slower than normal read.

I can see Lynn's point, though, it's almost too sparse.

Maggie

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

Johnny,

War is the great reaper of consequences intended and unintended indeed...great intent...I think you can drop the abstraction tragic...everyone knows war is tragic and it's not so interesting to point it out in a poem...it's really interesting of you drop it and extend the metaphor...thanks for the read. (I like the mystery of the regime change...BTW).


Spring cleaning
throws up
your socks
with the reindeer pattern
stuffed down
the back of the settee

I count
the unfilled vacancies:
sidekick, doxy
jester and
(not least)
official photographer.

Time for
a regime change
I incant fiercely
to myself
as on screen
a statue is toppled
in the centre
of Baghdad.

[johnnysaturn]

Hi Leo, I understand what you say and I'm always genuinely grateful for your (usually fruitful) suggestions ; in this instance, though , the word "tragic" creates a different effect for me to that which you have gleaned. But ,hey, that's poetry.