Daunting

[wavemaker9 (Rick D.)]

Imaginings drift unclaimed
from lack of grip or
slack motivation to
extend an effort to
augment visceral concepts with
another illusion of control.

Indolent indifference
begs for reason
where none exists
beyond the immediate.

Indulgent thoughts
of a brighter tomorrow
pale in the strife
of those ostracized,
deprived, deserving
more.

Daunting is the gloom
of a conscience
unprepared to be
the background noise
it entitled itself
to hear alone.

[mfwilkie]

Several reads and still thinking, Rick. Maggie

[Ron Buck (halfshell)]

several reads... it sticks and keeps sticking... blows me away!

my hat is off with this one... truly.

tidings
ron

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Seems like a commentary on conditions of today, and perhaps as far back as recorded history began.

"We can change the world
Rearrange the world.....
it's dying-- to get better.." Graham Nash "Chicago"

[wavemaker9 (Rick D.)]

Thanks you guys. I was trying to understand the state of omnipotence. Memory was all I could draw on but it doesn't leave any space on the canvas for natural phenomena. Go figure. Omnipotence must be relative to the level of faith in the believer but if that were true why would an omnipotent being limit faith?

[ramadevi]

Wow, Rick, you surprised me here. Been long since I dropped in and I expected to be chuckling as usual with your amazing wit.

Instead, you have me pondering pensively,impressed by your deep thought.

very articulate and intelligent phrasing:

to extend an effort
to augment visceral concepts
with another illusion of control.

Awesome closing---which I had to read three times to 'get' (but I blame it on being slightly dehydrated due to tropical climate and therefore sluggish)


Daunting is the gloom
of a conscience
unprepared to be
the background noise
it entitled itself
to hear alone.

WOW.

[antman]

Omnipotent presence, is like stardust my friend.
We can't see it, or feel it, or touch it, but know it exists.
It is in everything, it is everywhere and ever will be
even beyond our own mortal existance.
I'm not a philosopher by far but, am one who
knows there is an omnipotent presence,
in space and air that the cognisant are
aware of, and are not limited to this by faith alone.

I felt your piece to be more ethereal than
one might assume, given your opening line
"Imaginings drift unclaimed"
Your piece is very deep and has many angles left
open to interpetation.
Smile, and put down that book
Aristotle! Make me laugh again at IT all
as you usually do.

I really love your last stanza!
Methinks, it could use a comma
or two somewhere in there.

"Daunting is the gloom
of a conscience
unprepared to be
the background noise
it entitled itself
to hear alone."


peace and love,
anthony

[lickyllama]

Absolutely riveting! As I was reading, the image of the out casted high school nerd popped into my head, walking through the halls everyday for four years, getting laughed at and joked about when he deserves more. The kid's thoughts and emotions are conveyed into one short, smart free verse. Amazing *thumbs up*