Three of the Senses

[mfwilkie]

When my husband,
passing from this life
to his uncertainty,
left us, left me,
died,

sleep fell out of place,
the moon, just a paler version
of the sun. I felt no wind
on my skin, nothing but the blows
of considered conversations,

aware of my harsh silences for God.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Good title, subtly interwoven and blended into the poem. Works for me as it stands. Says just enough, clever, and leaves the reader to contemplate........Dodge next year.............hugs.

[ramadevi]

Maggie, this is powerful, emotionally charged and poetically brilliant. I agree with Jon....subtle and blended, thought provoking and very clever.

Kudos.

I felt no wind
on my skin, nothing but the blows
of considered conversations,

aware of my harsh silences for God.

WHEW!

[purplejacket]

Maybe it's just that I don't get it, but I would vote for chopping the entire first stanza. {shrug} Killer last line. Oy.

Also, I wonder if moving the moon to the previous line would be more interesting.

[mfwilkie]

jon, rama, pj,

thanks for the reads.

will look at enjambment in revision, pj.

Mags

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

Strong write, Mag. Has the moon become anymore of a moon yet? Hope you are well, friend.