In the Black

[David Nelson Bradsher]

In The Black

I scuttle darkness with a silent walk
of skin upon the curtained skin of night,
revealing nothing as I prowl and stalk,
a killer gliding, hiding from the light.

I only want the shadows, full and proud,
to shroud my skill for such eternity
that I submerge as deep as I’m allowed
and find (inside) that there’s no end to me.

I am the dusk, the dark, the heavy sky,
the vagrant in the lightless alleyway,
the whore on streets that gleam (when wet or dry),
the starving wolf that morning keeps at bay.

I am the god, the monster, newly-stained,
an inhumane reflection of a soul
untamed by strictures, sullied and defamed
by institutions that would eat me whole.

I am the secret of the missing heart,
I am the beast that gores the hunter's back,
a black disciple of the killing art—
I am the stripped-down Ripper—call me Jack.

[MichaelFirewalker]

will be back later, but gotta tell ya now that THIS baby rocks!----ohhh yeahhhh....

michael

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Nicely written, David.
Have you thought about singularizing "whores" in S3, since all the other dramatis personae are.

In the last stanza, "scrapes" hit me as a little to soft-action.
I know it's assonant with prey, but what about "scars" for more heavy duty punch?

S2 is nicely penned, especially the double entendre of "submerge."

Slashing work!

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Michael, thank you.

Great suggestions, Jon. Thank you. I used "gores" instead of "scars" but you're right about "scrapes" being too tepid for this one.

David

[sandpiper]

Ditto Michael on this one. Wonderful.

" I am the dusk, the dark, the heavy sky,
the vagrant in the lightless alleyway,
the whore on streets that gleam (when wet or dry),
the starving wolf that morning keeps at bay."

Absolutely Love this section.
Double check your capitals in the beginning, and there's only one line that struck me as off, (the heart line) but I need to think on it a bit more before suggesting anything. I'll be back, but couldn't wait until then to tell you I'd been here, and what my initial thoughts were...that I think it's great. :-)
-piper

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Love it, David, just a fluid rhythmic crash of darkness. Solid work. Ron

[sandpiper]

after rereading I'm good with the heart line... so all's well, ignore the last comment. :-)