It Can Get Rough in the Mountains

[mfwilkie]

Autumn is far on;
three days have drizzled one into another.

There is a need, though, to repeat a summer
that went half-sung. Time needs to blur the dregs
of this season. The next. And the next, until
there's a break for play and worry exhausts itself.

Children should not leave home without a note
from their mother, dear General.

[Tina (Firefly)]

Very well, and poetically, spoken. My heart hurts for what you and all parents must endure when a child..no matter his or her age...goes to war. The only place that bothers me is 'far on.' It sounds so close to 'far out.' I woud suggest, perhaps, 'Autumn has swept in: ' or another description. I do so love 'There is a need, though, to repeat a summer that went half-sung.' Very poignant. Tina

[ramadevi]

Yes, VERY poignant. Very very poignant.

Bravo.

the note - dear general---this line is superb!

one nit--summmer---has three m's!

repeat a summer that went half-sung. (great phrase!)

Time needs to blur the dregs
of this season.

Nice phrases!

[mfwilkie]

Thank you, rama. Mags