|
lunch
Oct 13, 2009 19:54:36 GMT -5
Post by purplejacket on Oct 13, 2009 19:54:36 GMT -5
Not my usual fare, but I've just printed this to put into my daughter's lunch for tomorrow. This is the first I've written for a 6-year-old audience. The biggest shocker... form! OMG!!!!
Put this poem in your mouth and eat it for your lunch. It’s very tasty, you will see when you begin to munch. If you like it, I have more, in fact I have a bunch of poems for your lunch.
The other children at your school might wish for you to share. The only things they have for lunch are peanuts, prunes and pears. You may read it to them all but read it with some flair if you want to share.
If you bring this poem home, I’ll put it in your dinner. Eat this poem up right now, before you get much thinner! This poem’s in your outer, but it should be in your inner otherwise, it’s dinner.
|
|
|
lunch
Oct 14, 2009 13:55:53 GMT -5
Post by LeoVictorBriones (poetremains) on Oct 14, 2009 13:55:53 GMT -5
I would consider making this into a kid's book, very clever. Find someone to illustrate and go make some money.
|
|
|
lunch
Oct 17, 2009 9:31:26 GMT -5
Post by David Nelson Bradsher on Oct 17, 2009 9:31:26 GMT -5
I love it, pj. Only one suggestion, to keep it conversational.
It's very tasty, you will see (perhaps "as you'll see" is a little less rigid-sounding).
Just a thought.
D
|
|
|
lunch
Oct 20, 2009 17:05:45 GMT -5
Post by Jo Lynn Ehnes on Oct 20, 2009 17:05:45 GMT -5
That's so cute, my 8 year old will love this.
|
|
|
lunch
Oct 26, 2009 6:04:52 GMT -5
Post by ramadevi on Oct 26, 2009 6:04:52 GMT -5
Adorable and well composed. I agree with Leo---would make a nice illustrated book....if you write some more of these.
Also like David's suggestion...we'll
Hugs, rd
|
|