Ron Buck (halfshell)
EP Gold 750 Posts Plus
EP Word Master and Published Member
-------- ecce signum --------- ------ behold the proof ------
Posts: 988
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Post by Ron Buck (halfshell) on Dec 4, 2009 10:05:49 GMT -5
Rebellion Quashed
.
A door that sticks
claimed prevailing rain
as an excuse to usurp
and maintain the role
of extortionist.
I dolled out time,
pinched fingers,
a litany of exhortations,
and finally a bruised
big toe.
A man vexed
should not be trifled with.
I stripped the bugger of his hinges,
carried him off and slammed his
petrified carcass on the rack.
It was not a sight for the squeamish;
curlicued mahogany flesh
spiraling off a Shelton Jack.
Not that much taken, really.
Just enough to put things
right between us.
I think the picket gate,
a witness to my rage,
acquiesced in swift accord,
now leans the other way.
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Post by ramadevi on Dec 5, 2009 5:33:30 GMT -5
Hilarious! What a riot. Enjoyed this so much. LOL
Brilliant, poetic personification of the gate in that closing line.
Super title choice.
Nice free verse flow with a nice internal rhyme in first stanza.
Fine vocabulary choices-gourmet words.
a litany of exhortations
vexed, trifled
petrified carcass
curlicued mahogany flesh
spiraling off a Shelton Jack.
acquiesced in swift accord,
Fun write.
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Post by birdfeeder on Dec 12, 2009 8:55:30 GMT -5
Hi, my first post here.
I liked this, It was succinct and funny. I like S1
usurp
and maintain the role
of exthortionist
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Post by mfwilkie on Dec 13, 2009 3:28:58 GMT -5
Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron!!!!
This is absolutely fantastic!
Check out Boulevard contest for 2010.
Maggie
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Ron Buck (halfshell)
EP Gold 750 Posts Plus
EP Word Master and Published Member
-------- ecce signum --------- ------ behold the proof ------
Posts: 988
|
Post by Ron Buck (halfshell) on Dec 26, 2009 15:42:31 GMT -5
mags,
when you get a chance... more info on the boulevard contest.. please.
tidings
ron
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Post by mfwilkie on Dec 27, 2009 15:36:27 GMT -5
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Post by Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner on Jan 6, 2010 12:27:45 GMT -5
Ron-
This is marvelous- you take the mundane of planing a door and turn it into a masterpiece of word and imagery. I am blown away my friend. What a fantastic write and I agree with Rama about the gourmet word choices... rarely do we see a story told with such flare and aplomb.
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antman
EP Gold 750 Posts Plus
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Posts: 958
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Post by antman on Jan 8, 2010 11:58:00 GMT -5
Applauds and cheers Ron,
I love your ending... so politically correct!
anthony
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Post by ramadevi on Jan 14, 2010 6:07:46 GMT -5
Enjoyed this on second read as much as the first.
Kudos a!~
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