Radiant Unity

[ramadevi]

A holy breath infuses verve
into the blood, the vein and nerve
of every vital entity,
ensuring every cell will serve

its part combined in unity
and harmonized activity.
Creation's not a sorry spoof--
but guided by infinity,

and ushers all towards knowing truth,
without a doubt demanding proof
that all creation's crafted light
and Heaven has no latch or roof.

This luminosity burns bright
in all who follow what is right
but hides in times of suffering
just like the sun's not seen at night.

The radiance within each thing,
when freed to celebrate and sing,
delights in shining unabashed
with joy, until its final fling.

Though there are times when we feel lashed,
one day we'll know our role--our past--
was not designed to bring us pain
but help us grasp the goal at last.

Then we return from whence we came
and enter into fresher frame
where, once again, in bright disguise,
life veils the fact we're all the same.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty, that is all/Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." - Keats.

You write the lines of consciousness.............and I rise to the vibration.

Om Shanti.

[wavemaker9 (Rick D.)]

Those that shine need no convincing, those that don't, to light, go wincing. Rama the word "trashing" seems too colloquial or out of place. Perhaps "lashing"?

Rick

[ramadevi]

Thanks for stopping by dear friends!

Aum Shanti, dear Jon.

Great suggestion, dear Rick! Love it, made the change. Thanks for the fun rhyming comment...go wincing. LOL

[mfwilkie]

Nice work on the rhyme scheme, rama.

I think you need to be careful with fragments and run-on thoughts. Like here:

Creation's not a sorry spoof--
but guided by infinity,

and ushers all towards knowing truth,

to

Creation's not a sorry spoof—
it's guided by infinity

and ushers all towards knowing truth(.)Full stop, here.

Where this continues below, rama, is a bit disjointed in message, even before my suggestion.

without a doubt demanding proof * Can you make this clearer,
rama?
that all creation's crafted light
and Heaven has no latch or roof.


I'm pretty sure the correct use here is: unabashedly, rather than unabashed, rama. I think unabashed might need some commas.

Will think on the commas a bit.

That messes with your meter and rhyme scheme, I know.

Read your draft slowly, rama, and listen for where it becomes sing-song.

I think it can deliver on a deeper level with some attention to clarity.

Maggie