First Blush, Second Sight

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

In the first rays of light seeping from a sweet silver sun
I awaken, like Dorothy from a deep sleep.

My third eye opens slowly and becomes
flooded with Your magnificence.

I plead "keep me from myself.
Like a magnet, draw my heart to You,"
as I draw my breath.

Bring me the wealth of Truth;

then unchain my limbs
so I may fly straight to Thee.

Accept me into Thy grace
and erase the face of me....

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Great rhythm and sound, Jonathan.

[Marion Poirier]

Hi Jonathan,
Beautifully written spiritual poem, Jon,
like a prayer.
A pleasure to read.

Regards,
Marion

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

Great line:

Accept me into Thy grace
and erase the face of me

[mfwilkie]

Jon, What a lovely morning prayer.

What if you joined the 3rd verse with your opening line and use 'As" :

As the first rays of light seeping in
from a sweet silver sun, my third eye opens slowly
and becomes flooded with Your magnificence.

Because it's a prayer, I think you need to deeper than than the use of a magnet.

I plead, "Keep me from myself.
Like a magnet, Draw my heart to You
as I draw/near conciousness with my first breath.

Rather than use another reference to 'me', what about aking for His presence throughout the day:

Bring my day/or the hours of my day
the wealth of Truth;

I've assumed this is a morning prayer, Jon, but when I get to these next few lines, it seem at odds with the intent of dedicating the day to God and asking for His presence. They seem to me, each time I read them, that the N is asking for death so he can go to heaven,

It almost needs a turn like the familiar childrens' prayer:
If I should die...



then unchain my limbs
so I may fly straight to Thee.

I agree with Leo, great last line, but again, I think you need to alter the focus of 'me'.

Accept me my (something) into Thy grace
and erase the face of me.

Mags