Stasis

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Stasis

Shopping for art one steel-cold Saturday,
I found a sculpture that displayed a feeling
Of stark despair, emphatic in the way
The subject folded in and downward, kneeling.

Displaying more than craftsmanship and art,
It seemed a shrine to vulnerability,
A bronzed reminder of the brittle heart,
This beautiful immortal on one knee.

His wings were tucked, as if he was ashamed
To question the decisions of his Master;
Or, maybe he was chided when he blamed
The Lord Almighty for a world disaster.

With patron verve, I wondered if his eyes
Were just unfocused, wet with tears, or closed,
And if, defiantly, he’d somehow rise
Above the place he’d been forever posed;

But nothing moved, and nothing ever would.
His pose was fated by the sculptor’s vision,
Either in prayer, because he understood,
Or static in a trance of indecision.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

A truly lovely, provocative piece, David.

..."as if he (were) ashamed...?

[determinedtofail]

Feb 21, 2010 17:08:13 GMT -5 David Nelson Bradsher said:

Stasis

Shopping for art one steel-cold Saturday,
I found a sculpture that displayed a feeling
Of stark despair, emphatic in the way
The subject folded in and downward, kneeling.

Displaying more than craftsmanship and art,
It seemed a shrine to vulnerability,
A bronzed reminder of the brittle heart,
This beautiful immortal on one knee.

The [glow=red,2,300]Bronze[/glow] wings were tucked, as if he was ashamed
To question the decisions of his Master;
Or, maybe he was chided when he blamed
The Lord Almighty for a world disaster.

With patron verve, I wondered if his eyes
Were just unfocused, wet with tears, or closed,
And if, defiantly, he’d somehow rise
Above the place he’d been forever posed;

But nothing moved, and nothing ever would.
His pose was fated by the sculptor’s vision [glow=red,2,300]precision[/glow],
Either in prayer, because he understood,
Or static in a trance of indecision.

David I especially like the sentiment of this and how you are able to extrapolate from this experience of interacting with a piece of art. The author's humanity and meta cognition really makes the bronze shine even deeper.

The word forever I thought disrupted the transition of the piece and was not needed. The image for posed, nothing moved, nothing ever would is so much stronger and already implies the word "forever".

The word vision I find too passe for this piece. I recommend precision or another ision ending word may be better. (After all I am rhymingly challenged) Whatever the word you chose, I enjoy how you integrated the image of the sculptor's labor throughout the work. Made the poem that much more interesting to me.

Cheers,

Austin

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Austin, thank you very much for these great thoughts. I'll see what I can do.

D