When the Pen is Moving, It's Hard to Move

[mfwilkie]

First: water on... for tea. Then,
a peanut buttered, English puffin,

a cigarette and sleep. Some sleep. But not
before you re-ponder my choice of puffin.

Four flags are waving, from across the street.
Four fibered-stresses. Accentual.

[Marion Poirier]

Hi Maggie,
I don't understand what you mean by puffin
unless it relates to the cigarette.

I think this work is too vague and probably
something that only the author understands -
maybe not - but I never claimed to be bright.

Interesting poem; however, I think clarity
is important; some mystery is good-
but there has to be balance.

I don't believe this poem has been ignored because
it's not good - but because it is too ambiguous.

How do we get back to the days when there
were five responses for every poem posted -
good, bad or neutral? Any ideas for reconstruction
of the site?

Best regards,
Marion

[mfwilkie]

It's an exercise in accentual meter, Marion.

And I disagree that it's ambiguous, although the 4th line
doesn't excactly work for me and there's another point to be made in two additional lines, although I won't write until I get that fourth line where I want it.


If your confused about these lines:


Four flags are waving, from across the street,
four fibered-stresses. Accentual.

Let me explain the turn:

They are four flags across from my house.
They are made of fiber. The wind was blowing them
straight out, putting stress on the material.
The flag represents America, and all her present stresses.
They accent my view.

It was a draft written minutes after being 'in the moment'.

Hope all is well with you, and how's the book coming by the way?

Maggie

[Jay Gandhi (engineering poet!)]

Hi;

I am reviewing a poem after a long time ...so please pardon me for my blatant frankness

I could not figure out last few lines of the poem. Then I read the explanation that you have written and that was the point where I picked up what the poem was exactly trying to say.

Regards,
Jay