antman
EP Gold 750 Posts Plus
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Posts: 958
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Post by antman on Jun 20, 2010 19:45:54 GMT -5
All ye fathers’ carry the load, a thousand miles of yesterday’s dreams so it seems, ye trod on bone and nail...
Endless clouds hang ‘ere stalking your day, to make ye shake and shiver shiver and shake ye do.
Happiness is the rainbow of love, over a gray backdrop and the endless miles ahead, easing ye yoke and burden too.
All ye fathers’ cry invisible tears, lift the broken heart and smote monsters hiding under the bed, before ye have to be on your way
a thousand miles yet to go it feels like yesterday.
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Post by Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47 on Jun 30, 2010 16:27:56 GMT -5
Yes, the sober reality of fatherhood, and in spite of all the joy, there are burdens to be carried. I love the relief of verse 4.........we as fathers can be counted on to rid our childrens' bedrooms of those monsters.....one of our first acts of heroism...........and it continues from there. Thanks Anthony..........and belated happy Father's Day my friend.
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Post by mfwilkie on Jul 1, 2010 0:15:00 GMT -5
Each time I read this, Ant, I see someone in a tavern in days of old with a mug in his hand making a toast.
I like it's tone and its energy.
My only nit is in the opening lines of this stanza; they don't seem to fit the V in the rest of the piece. Way too modern, I think.
Happiness is the rainbow of love, over a gray backdrop and the endless miles ahead, easing ye yoke and burden too.
Maggie
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Post by Marion Poirier on Jul 8, 2010 13:17:36 GMT -5
Good work, Anthony. I'm a little late getting here, but the old fashioned language threw me off. I'd love to see a modern version; it would be much more relatable IMO.
Best, Marion
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