The Posture Politique

[Ron Buck (halfshell)]

The Posture Politique

How is it that thems thats got only do wuts right
when their ones and twos don't, and won't stop
flappin' their gums unless they get wuts got?

A whole lot of bric-a-brac, smack-on-the-back,
Red's white is blue raps stripes starred and stacked
grease on the track of the patriot's oath clicketyclaque.

Funny how wee wee wee pink and pudgy piggies
always stick to the wall when time immemorial
raizes our spirits and tosses wuts left off the platform.

All said from ancient to modern nothin' gets done,
cuz the ones that don't does the other up and down
until one end looks, feels, and smells like the other.[/size]

[mfwilkie]

It's interesting, and I like it.

Be back after I read it out loud.

[mfwilkie]

I'm thinking you should convert this to a Modern Sonnet with some trim. I also recommend trimming back the exaggerated language a bit.

Better yet, Ron, jettison the 1S for now and start with the second. Let that language set up the vehicle for intent and bring it present tense.

Try not to think of in terms of a symmetrical poem. Let it rip.

Here's my messing.


bric-a-brac, smack-on-the-back,
red's white is blues to raps, to stripes
starred and stacked, grease on the track
of the patriot's oath. clicketyclaque.

Funny how wee wee pink sticks to the wall.
immemorial time raizes our spirits then tosses
what's left of our lives from a shifting platform.
Gums will flap until they get what they want.