Haji Girl

[MichaelFirewalker]

today she had found
impossible-to-find shampoo
and the always equally costly soap
delighted they were fragrant too

she treasures this evening as precious
relaxing to her mama’s luxurious brush
while the sheen of her lanky and long
freshly washed hair falls glossy and black
down her back and over bare shoulders

she’s a only a girl of fourteen after all
but an air of the aristocrat hovered
about her while she had walked
tall and proud to the district shops
and sat there all that day selling tea
at her father’s small rosewood table
with its intricately inlaid glistening
peas of mother-of-pearl
that she loved

later crossing the town she had felt such
relief to have earned enough to feed
her parents and five year-old sister
with heavy brown bread and shiny red
tomatoes bargained for at neighboring
vendors’ stalls along her way

until in a single indelible instant
into this evening of family peace
drunken rage unleashes a uniformed
war which crashes and screams
and cracks past their humble front door

she sits stunned and terrified of the American GI’s
who’ve landed so crazy with mad whiskey wild
right onto their central room floor
but recognizes these as the same vile four
who had whistled and shouted ugly obscenities
she earlier unwisely ignored

one now forces her mama
her papa and little sister
into the room with their only bed

three shots blast through the house
and he stumbles out boastfully
pronouncing all three of them dead

then violence shoves her into the corner
pulls her dress up over her face
and each one takes several turns
at her repeated rape

but she doesn’t know what they do anymore
for when she knew her family was dead
her young mind intelligently fled

after they are completely satisfied
they neatly fire one close range
bullet into her head
and casually swagger out
of this broken house

on return to their post they all sing

there they party some more and then roast
a communal supper of juicy hot buffalo wings

but what do they do after that
we don’t know

do they carefully clean all of their guns
then wash the blood off their hands
so nothing will show?

do they say things to comfort each other like
“she knew damned well she was hot!
who the hell did she think she was, anyway?
did she think she could get away
with passing our check points each day
then ignoring a little clean-cut American fun?
she deserved exactly the hell that she got!”

how do they justify
and how can they comfort
themselves?





FOOTNOTES:

1. Written for Abeer Qasim Hamsa…a fourteen year old Iraqi girl who was raped and murdered, along with the murder of her parents and five year old sister, by four American GI"s in Iraq on March of 2006.

2. "If you want to understand why the war is going so badly in Iraq, it may help to examine the recent reaction to "Hadji Girl," the videotaped song about killing Iraqis by U.S. Marine Corporal Joshua Belile. The song became controversial when the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) discovered it on the internet and objected to its lyrics. "Hadji Girl" tells the story of a soldier "out in the sands of Iraq / And we were under attack..."

"...Her brother and her father shouted…
Dirka Dirka Mohammed Jihad
Sherpa Sherpa Bak Allah
They pulled out their AKs so I could see

... So I grabbed her little sister and pulled her in front of me.

As the bullets began to fly
The blood sprayed from between her eyes
And then I laughed maniacally

Then I hid behind the TV
And I locked and loaded my M-16
And I blew those little fuckers to eternity.

And I said…
Dirka Dirka Mohammed Jihad
Sherpa Sherpa Bak Allah
They should have known they were fucking with a Marine..."

"...It would be a mistake to imagine that the casual brutality of "Hadji Girl" is coming from people who are simply evil or racist or cruel. The soldiers occupying Iraq are normal men and women who, in other circumstances, would never commit the abuses that have been documented in Bagram and Abu Ghraib and that are now alleged in Haditha. The situations in which this war has placed them — far from home, surrounded by a foreign language and foreign culture, carrying guns and fearful for their lives — have brought out behaviors that we would not see otherwise. If American soldiers and Iraqis could meet under different circumstances, things would be different."

this was "submitted by Sheldon Rampton on Thu, 6/22/06-19:30" for Sheldon Rampton's Blog on the Center For Media and Democracy, PR Watch.org

3. Haji: A pejorative term used by many U.S. Military personnel to describe an Iraqi, or any Muslim, Arab or Middle Easterner in general.

[mfwilkie]

Abeer Qasim Hamza and her family were killed in 2006.
You might want to correct the date in your notes.

Poetically, I think the piece over romanticizes this young girls last days with clichéd fantasy, language and imagery.

Below my comments is an exerpt from one of several sites that tells us what her last days were like. You should have no trouble finding them.

Are the lines below direct quotes from one source?

there they party some more and then roast
a communal supper of juicy hot buffalo wings
then carefully clean up all of their guns
while they say things to comfort each other like
“she knew damned well she was hot!”
“who the hell did she think she was, anyway?
did she think she could get away with swaying
her haji ass past our check points each day, and then
ignore a little clean-cut American fun?

she deserved exactly what she got!”

You also might want to check your facts on the intent of the Marine who wrote Hadji Girl. Your search might include when the song was written and first performed, and when it first made it to the airwaves.

My research found it was written in September of 2005 and performed prior to the slaughter of Abeer and her family, not afterwards.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Written for Abeer Qasim Hamsa…a fourteen year old Iraqi girl who was raped and murdered, along with the murder of her parents and five year old sister, by four American GI"s in Iraq on March 10, 2007, and then later addressed as ”The Hadji Girl” in a song written and performed by an American marine in an apparent attempt to jokingly tell a different story than what had actually occurred...

2. Haji: A pejorative term used by U.S. Military personnel to describe an Iraqi, or any Muslim, Arab or Middle Easterner in general.

Background - Mahmudiya, March 12th, 2006

“Fifteen-year-old Abeer Qasim Hamza was afraid, her mother confided in a neighbor. As pretty as she was young, the girl had attracted the unwelcome attention of U.S. soldiers manning a checkpoint that the girl had to pass through almost daily in their village in the south-central city of Mahmudiyah, her mother told the neighbor.

“Abeer told her mother again and again in her last days that the soldiers had made advances toward her, a neighbor, Omar Janabi, said this weekend, recounting a conversation he said he had with the girl’s mother, Fakhriyah, on March 10. Fakhriyah feared that the Americans might come for her daughter at night, at their home. She asked her neighbor if Abeer might sleep at his house, with the women there. Janabi said he agreed. Then, ‘I tried to reassure her, remove some of her fear,’ Janabi said. ‘I told her, the Americans would not do such a thing.’

“Abeer did not live to take up the offer of shelter. Instead, attackers came to the girl’s house the next day, apparently separating Abeer from her mother, father and young sister. Janabi and others knowledgeable about the incident said they believed that the attackers raped Abeer in another room. Medical officials who handled the bodies also said the girl had been raped, but they did not elaborate. Before leaving, the attackers fatally shot the four family members - two of Abeer’s brothers had been away at school - and attempted to set Abeer’s body on fire, according to Janabi, another neighbor who spoke on condition of anonymity, the mayor of Mahmudiyah and a hospital administrator with knowledge of the case. […]”

[MichaelFirewalker]

I appreciate your help here, Mags, and will check into each point you have made----I want this right, and am MOST happy to make corrections----this piece is my first one written about an apparent American atrocity in the Iraqi war, most of which are still being investigated and are not yet adjudicated or fully adjudicated----it's a difficult subject----am also going to do one from the perspective of the culture shock experienced by the inexperienced, average GI sent over there...

I find this from you unclear and confusing: "Poetically I think the piece over romanticizes this young girls last days with clichéd fantasy, language and imagery."----am not quite sure what you mean by over-romanticising her last days----she was fourteen----she lived with her mother and father and sister----she was beautiful----and she was very, very frightened of the American soldiers she had to pass each day at their military check point...

in view of those facts, please explain, Mags, why it is that you personally feel it is over romanticising her to describe how she might have spent her day, and how it might have been for her and her family in the privacy of their home on an ordinary evening?----if this is not how you think she spent her days, or how you see her family and herself during an ordinary evening together, then what do you think they really did with their time that would be so very different from what I surmise in my poem?

mick

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Whatever the year, even if a little poetic latitude be taken, this story made me weak with sadness. I do get saddened by events where human lives are lost, especially in a violent way......it is such a waste. Michael, you brought this home...........and no matter how badly it caused me to feel. I thank you for pulling the emotion out from inside, where it lay, waiting to be awakened.

[mfwilkie]

Jon,

Michael has written strong and effective poems about the atrocities of war. They work because they were written with 'real time facts', and present clear images.

The heinous crimes against this young girl and her family were all over the news for many, many months.

To play the last days of Abeer's young life with her mother the way the poem describes them, against real images of what their life was like, the emotions both mother and daughter were experiencing, lessons the potential impact of the poem.

Going outside the context of war, for a moment, losing any child, to sudden death leaves behind the idea of lost potential.

In the this case, what did the world lose in losing Abeer? And here family. What did her brothers lose, their neighbors, their community, their country?

What did we lose in forcing the standards of recruitment to an all time low?

The poem recalls powerful emotions, yes. Can it be written better, yes.

Can you take some latitude with facts in a piece,? Yes, you can. Does this poem go too far from fact for me when it talks about Abeer? Yes.

I see the inside of that hut every time I hear her name. To me, it's an instance where a picture, and in this case, pictures,
speak louder than any words one could write.

Should Michael consider another approach to the poem? I think so, but that's up to her.

Does praising a poem because it evokes strong emotions in a reader mean the construction of the poem doesn't warrent criticism. No.

There are plenty of feel-good poetry sites that can provide that
sort of review.

We're trying not to be one of them.

Maggie

[mfwilkie]

Michael, I believe my response to Jon answers your question.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

I wrote what I felt when I felt it. No doubt there is room for amendments........that is understood when critiquing poetry.

[MichaelFirewalker]

yes, Mags, indeed it does answer my question----in fact, you helped me a lot, and you have provided me with a great deal of many kinds of information which I did not have before----you have helped me see what you see, but more importantly, what you do not see...

also, I am keenly aware that you have, as I do, as we all do, every right to your point of view on my poem, both regarding what it says, and how and why it says it----and I greatly value being able to read your particular pov, especially in comparison to Jon's more inclusive one, and to be able to see through your eyes and through his, which I have certainly done today, very clearly, and very deeply, in point of fact...

also, I am slowly learning, between this site, poetrycircle, and a couple of others, more and more about what poetry critique is REALLY all about today----it has all been quite an eye-opener, I must honestly say...

thank you for your time,
michael

ps----please do know how invaluable your critiques are to me, though, Mags----I will think long, respectfully, and carefully on all that you have so generously and definitively written here----there is much in your words that I need to understand and to heed...

[Sherry Thrasher]

If this was all over the news, then I missed it. According to this report the following happened.


Soldiers 'hit golf balls before going out to kill family'· US military court told of brutal attack in Iraq

· Evidence from colleague describes rape and murder
Ryan Lenz, Associated Press in Baghdad The Guardian, Tuesday August 8 2006 Article history ·

US soldiers, accused of raping and murdering a 14-year-old Iraqi girl, drank alcohol and hit golf balls before the attack. One of them grilled chicken wings afterwards, a criminal investigator told a US military hearing yesterday.

Benjamin Bierce interviewed one of the accused, Specialist James Barker who made a written statement in which he recorded graphic and brutal sexual details of the alleged assault on March 12.

Mr Bierce was testifying on the second day of the hearing to determine whether five soldiers must stand trial for the rape and killing of Abeer Qassim al-Janabi, her parents and five-year-old sister in the town of Mahmudiya.

It is among the worst in a series of cases of alleged misconduct. Specialist Barker's signed statement was submitted in evidence. He is accused, along with Sergeant Paul Cortez, Private Jesse Spielman and Private Bryan Howard of rape and murder. Another soldier, Sergeant Anthony Yribe, is accused of failing to report the attack but is not alleged to have participated.

Former private, Steven Green, was discharged from the army for a "personality disorder" after the incident and was arrested in North Carolina in June on rape and murder charges. He has pleaded not guilty and is being held without bail.

Yesterday, Private Justin Watt testified that Private Howard told him, before the incident, that Private Green, Sergeant Cortez and Specialist Barker had planned to rape a girl, and Private Howard was to be the lookout. Another investigator, Michael Hood, told the hearing that he interviewed Private Spielman, who denied shooting or having sex with anyone. He was given a lie-detector test and passed.

According to Specialist Barker's statement, Private Green not only raped the girl but also shot her and her family after telling his comrades repeatedly he wanted to kill some Iraqis. Mr Bierce said that on the day of the attack, Specialist Barker, Sergeant Cortez, Private Spielman and Private Green had been playing cards and drinking Iraqi whisky mixed with an energy drink. They practised hitting golf balls, Specialist Barker's statement said.

Specialist Barker made it clear Private Green was very persistent about killing some Iraqis. At some point they decided to go to the house of the girl they had seen passing by their checkpoint. Specialist Barker also said that when they arrived at the house, the father and the girl were outside. Private Spielman grabbed the girl while Private Green seized her father and took them into the house.

Private Green took the father, mother and the younger sister into the bedroom, while the girl remained in the living room. Specialist Barker wrote that Sergeant Cortez pushed the girl to the floor, and tore off her underwear. Sergeant Cortez appeared to rape her, according to the statement. Specialist Barker then tried to rape the girl, Mr Bierce said. Suddenly, the group heard gunshots. Private Green came out of the bedroom holding an AK-47 rifle and declared: "They're all dead. I just killed them," the statement said.

Private Green put the gun down, then raped the girl while Sergeant Cortez held her down. Specialist Barker claims Private Green picked up the AK-47 and shot the girl once, paused, then shot her several more times. Specialist Barker said he got a lamp and poured kerosene on the girl. She was set on fire, but he does not say who did it. He does not say if Private Howard or Private Spielman took part in the rape. The statement says he grilled chicken wings back at their checkpoint.

The case has increased demands for changes to an agreement that exempts US soldiers from prosecution in Iraqi courts. Prime minister Nuri al-Maliki has demanded an independent investigation.

[MichaelFirewalker]

thank you so much for posting this article here, Sherry----it is extremely powerful, and I'm grateful to see it with my poem----I had read it, and pasted it into my WORD, along with several other articles, but I didn't put the whole thing here, and I'm glad you did...

Mags does make some good points in what she says----it is true that I had a lot of timing errors in my footnotes, and I'm grateful to her for pointing them out, so I could fix them, which I have done----but I do not agree with Mags that the incident is no longer timely because it happened two years ago----I don't think it's valid that I, or any other poet, be required to write only about present-day problems----rather than that, I should write about whatever moves me to write, whenever it does so----the discussion of an atrocity is never untimely, especially an atrocity as heinous as this one is...

I also don't think, as Mags does seem to think, and as Jon does not, that my description of Abeer Qasim Hamsa's life immediately prior to her murder is inappropriate in any way----I fail to understand why, because she lived in a hut, that would necessarily mean she never washed her hair or otherwise cleansed herself, as Mags seems to imply----it seems to me that she and her mother could have washed her hair, even if that were difficult for them to do, and that that washing and brushing would have been a very great pleasure for them----the mother certainly could have brushed her daugher's hair dry just before the soldiers broke into their Iraqi home...

they were poor, but they were not inhuman because of their poverty----poverty is dehumanizing, to be sure, but isn't that all the more reason for a poet to humanize these people?----we need to see them as human like we are human, with mothers like we have mothers, and daughters like we have daughters too----we need to see them as part of us, not as foreign monsters deserving rape and murderous death----so that's why I wrote it like I did, so we could see this child as an average girl next door----because it seems to me that's how we need to see ourselves and everyone, as connected, as neighbors, as one...

michael

ps----I would like to add here that I found this from Mags a bit troubling, not because of Mags herself, but because, in my opinion and experience, what passes as critique of poetry today too often dehumanises both the poetry and the poet by concentrating ONLY on the technical aspects of critique and ignoring its substantive aspects, ie., those aspects that deal with the quality of the handling of the subject matter addressed by the poem...

from Mags:
"Does praising a poem because it evokes strong emotions in a reader mean the construction of the poem doesn't warrent criticism. No.

There are plenty of feel-good poetry sites that can provide that
sort of review.

We're trying not to be one of them."

In defense of jon namaste's comment on my poem, I SERIOUSLY doubt jon was either directly saying, or indirectly implying, that a poet's success in the evoking of strong emotions in his poem necessarily means that the construction of the poem doesn't warrant criticism----I also think that we all, including jon, are very aware that this site is trying to do helpful and effective critique----that is why we are all here, to give and receive same...

however, it very much needs to be pointed out, right here and right now, that the acknowledgement of a poet's success in the evocation of strong emotion in a reader is an important part of the kind of critique we all are seeking----it is necessary for the poet to know he expressed his work well technically, and also substantively----poetry is composed by use of efficient and effective technique, and also quality of substance, skill in the handling of the subject being addressed by the poet----as I see it, both aspects richly deserve, and inherently need, decent critiquing...

[mfwilkie]

Michael,

You have evolved my remarks concerning your draft of Haji Girl into something they are not, your interpretation of what I think.

I made declarative statements concerning message and delivery.

You don't like them. That is your perogative.

Any number of people can put down words that have the potential to jerk a reader's emotions.

The question here is still whether I think you accomplished a
successful poetic outcry for Abeer and her family for the heinous way in which they died with this draft; no, I don't.

This is a workshop for poets to consider revision from the collective pool of responses to their work.

It is not a place for interpretive political discourse to be used to defend against a reviewer's critical evaluation of message and delivery that does not sit well with you.

If you think because the piece evokes an emotional response, it was written well, then let it stand as is.

I addressed where and why it doen't work for me.

I appreciate Sherry adding to the presentation of fact, however, your poem does not identity the source of the quotes.

Legally, a poet is obligated to when quoting. This was a question you left unanswered in your responsive essays.

In my opinion, if you wish to write poetry to inform based in fact, then the poem should be kept as close to truth as possible with effective use of poetics at hand to convey your feelings on any given subject.

I suggest reading the articles on poetry and science, which in my opinion, and I stress my opinion, and not your interpretation of my opinion, require the science, regardless of metaphor or simile,
to be factual.

Any poem written about Abeer strikes me having the same need for factual effort as does a poem involving science.

I have nothing further to add to my earlier critique of this poem.

If you have anything further to say outside the realm of poetics, please take it to the General Forum for open discussion.

mfwilkie

[MichaelFirewalker]

First of all, I value very highly that fact that "this is a workshop for poets to consider revision from the collective pool of responses to their work."

I also value your input very highly----I love the vison that you have----I love the way you see poetry----I love you, even though I know you don't believe that, and/or don't care----in addition, I understand that you come to us from an ever-increasing knowledge base regarding poetry and poetics, and I prize hearing your ideas, Maggie, believe me!----BUT oftentimes, I do have trouble understanding the full meaning of what you yourself see as your simple declarative statements, statements that you think I should be easily able to understand----not so, Mags----your stated thoughts sometimes leave me with more questions than answers, and then I quite naturally want to talk about them, without you thinking I am disagreeing with you----because I'm not----I'm trying to understand those simple declarative statements which I do not understand...

the intention behind my responses to what you write is simply to communicate by offering what I understand you to mean, hoping for a back and forth repartee----that is what I did, and to that you seem to have taken umbrage...

then there is this from you: "your poem does not identity the source of the quotes. Legally, a poet is obligated to when quoting. This was a question you left unanswered in your responsive essays."

I did clarify that, Mags, by editing what I originally wrote, which is this:

while they say things to comfort each other like
“she knew damned well she was hot!”
“who the hell did she think she was, anyway?
did she think she could get away with swaying
her haji ass past our check points each day, and then
ignore a little clean-cut American fun?

she deserved exactly what she got!”

and replacing it with this:

but what do they do after that
we don’t know

do they carefully clean all of their guns
then wash the blood off their hands
so nothing will show?

while they say things to comfort each other like
“she knew damned well she was hot!
who the hell did she think she was, anyway?
did she think she could get away
with passing our check points each day
then ignoring a little clean-cut American fun?
she deserved exactly the hell that she got!”

how do they comfort themselves?

as you can see, the quotation marks NEVER were used because I am quoting anyone----they were, and are, used simply for the purpose of setting off imagined dialogue from the body of the poem----and you were right in that this was not clear enough in the first draft, and so I clarified that in this second draft, and am grateful to you for pointing the need for that clarification out to me...

now, at the risk of repeating myself, I must say that, in the second draft, when I specifically write,

but what do they do after that
we don’t know

do they carefully clean all of their guns
then wash the blood off their hands
so nothing will show?

while they say things to comfort each other like
“she knew damned well she was hot!
who the hell did she think she was, anyway?
did she think she could get away
with passing our check points each day
then ignoring a little clean-cut American fun?
she deserved exactly the hell that she got!”

how do they comfort themselves?

and you still do not see that this is not quoting anyone, but plainly is that aforementioned dialogued conjecture as to what these young male Americans might have said to each other to comfort each other after doing such horrific things, then I am left, once again, not knowing how to be any more clear than I have been here, and also not knowing how to communicate with you...

mick

[MichaelFirewalker]

I must also address this from you:

"It is not a place for interpretive political discourse to be used to defend against a reviewer's critical evaluation of message and delivery that does not sit well with you.

If you think because the piece evokes an emotional response, it was written well, then let it stand as is."

I understand that very well, Mags, and believe that you have completely misunderstood what I was trying so hard to say above----I am sorry that is the case, but find your reference to interpretive political discourse here quite amusing, as that is precisely what a great deal of excellent poetry and discourse on it does today----it interprets the political discourse of the body politic at large, and also in particular, just as we are doing here now...

I was not attempting, in this poem, to address the substantive issues which you list as the important ones in your review above, and which I should have to have addressed in order for you to see this poem as valid----instead, I chose to shine light on the person Abeer Qasim Hamsa may have been herself, in a poetic attempt to present her as the young girl she was, no more, and no less than that very simple reality that was smashed into oblivion by a few minutes of mindless violence----

and again, Maggie, there was nothing in anything you said that did not sit well with me, ie., to which I took any umbrage----but there is a great deal in what you said that I, as I said above, do not understand...

oh, I know YOU understand what you say----it is I, the one to whom you say it, who does not...

mick