The Means To An End

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Revision

I donned an oddly-patterned bowling shirt,
a pair of well-worn jeans and Rainbow sandals;
she wore a sweater with a pleated skirt
and Gucci bag (with leather-woven handles).

We matched as well as Scott Fitzgerald’s Eggs,
the East and West, old money/nouveau riche,
but she had breasts and Aphrodite's legs.
Smitten with perfect parts, I downed her quiche.

It tasted how a rubber egg would taste,
stubborn and ruthless on an untrained fork,
yet not one hunk of blubber went to waste.

She loved mimosas, so I popped the cork,
and we consumed the nectar of our youth,
a misfit pair, consumed by all but truth.


Original

I donned an oddly-patterned bowling shirt,
a pair of well-worn jeans and Rainbow sandals;
she wore a sweater with a pleated skirt
and Gucci bag (with leather-woven handles).

We matched as well as Scott Fitzgerald’s Eggs,
the East and West, old money/nouveau riche,
but she had breasts, Athena’s sculpted legs,
so, smitten by those parts, I downed the quiche.

It tasted like a rubber egg would taste,
stubborn and ruthless on the untrained fork,
yet not one hunk of blubber went to waste
and when mimosa called, I popped the cork
and we consumed the nectar of our youth,
a mismatched pair consumed by all but truth.

[MichaelFirewalker]

this is one of your best, because it is spiritually unadorned, and it walks down the page in nothing but the bare-assed honesty of the hard and painful truth that simply says there was no truth...

michael

ps----in the last couplet, where you quite purposely have used two consumes, would it juxtapose them a little better if you said

and we consumed the nectar of our youth,
who, mismatched, were consumed by all but truth.

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Thank you, Michael. I'm all about bare-assed honesty these days.

[MichaelFirewalker]

David, I added to it a question?

[mfwilkie]

I like the way you went on to end this, D.

A smooth read, and strong images.

Mags

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Thank you, Mags.

Michael, that would work, but I'm not sure if I want to use it or not. I may reword it in another way, but thank you, and it's certainly worth considering.

[alfredo]

I love this ....and, I regret to say, Ive been there ...

unconsummated LUST in earlier life that should have been left where it belonged, in the past, with someone with whom I was a complete missfit...

..aging does not make use less vulnerable.

Accurately and revealingly told ..too accurate for my taste!!