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Post by LeoVictorBriones (poetremains) on Dec 18, 2007 4:20:40 GMT -5
I have to be stingy today,
even though I must admit
the moan of your low octave and hot breath
“love me more, love me more,”
is a temptation—
but you have to understand
that the last time I said “Yes,”
I was held over the balcony by my ankles,
some goodfella barking out
like a hungry pit bull
“You've given at the office,
You've given in the alley,
You've given under the fist,
but no that’s still not enough.”
You see, when you're hanging out there —
as the wind blows your ears to ice —
You do think, for just a second, “Okay, can die for love.”
Then you remember you, too, need oxygen.
So you take a deep breath, scrunch your core muscles,
do a Superman sit-up, lift back up to the balcony —
you're immediately tempted to throw her off the edge,
but you think maybe, like you,
she too deserve a second chance at love.
So, keep whispering darling,eventually,
I'll catch my breath.
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Post by Sherry Thrasher on Dec 18, 2007 8:12:40 GMT -5
Superman sit-up? I love the humor of this poem as well as it's theme.
So, keep whispering darling,
eventually,
I'll catch my breath.
Super ending, Superman.
Sherry
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Post by mfwilkie on Dec 18, 2007 9:50:46 GMT -5
On a first read through, I really like this, Leo.
Maggie
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Post by Tina (Firefly) on Dec 18, 2007 11:18:20 GMT -5
On EVERY read through, I really like this, Leo. A girl could fall (pardon the pun) for your ironic sense of humor. :+}
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Post by MichaelFirewalker on Dec 18, 2007 15:14:07 GMT -5
okay, het-man, this ol' butch thinks it's a bit lacking----are you saying they all deserve a second chance at love, or at fuck?
dey ain't da same ting...
michael
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Post by Sherry Thrasher on Dec 18, 2007 16:03:23 GMT -5
Perhaps their second chance at love would be his forgiveness. The more I read this, the more I smile. I have to be stingy today,
even though I must admit
the moan of your low octave and hot breath
“love me more, love me more,”
is a temptation— Good work, Leo. Sherry  |
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Post by LeoVictorBriones (poetremains) on Dec 19, 2007 11:24:24 GMT -5
Now Michael...you know I love you but I must point out...men have feelings too!
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Post by Sherry Thrasher on Dec 19, 2007 11:43:09 GMT -5
Thank God for that and the romantics.
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Post by wavemaker9 (Rick D.) on Dec 19, 2007 12:27:17 GMT -5
What's that up in the air? Is it an airplane, is it a rocket? No, it's Leo just hangin'.
Boy this hit home. The last 3 lines are perfect.
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Post by Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47 on Dec 19, 2007 13:01:03 GMT -5
Clever, well-written with sharp references.
I don't think you need you need the quotation marks at the beginning of L12 and 13.
A very enjoyable read, Leo. (Lois)
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