To the Poets

[syzygy73]

There's a plump red cushion beside me and
a guitar,

all curves and potential,

leaning against a bookcase,

Too many books,
the guitar has only five strings.

Colour and music,

I think of Monet's 'Poppies Blooming'
and hear incomplete chords-

the lost notes roll about my head
like smiles

and for a wonderful moment
there is a clear arctic-water

silence.

[LynnDoiron]

Rob -- Really like the curves and the sounds/audio of the guitar juxtaposed against the linear shape of books and shelves and how your words combine the two. Nice work!

Thoughts for you to consider or ignore: maybe exchange Lines 3 and 4 so that the curves and potential follow directly after guitar . . . and so that the placement of the instrument and leaning against the shelf are followed directly by Too many books.

The only other thing is that I might omit 'recalled from old photos' and just let the smiles be 'like smiles' [as a reader they become smiles from everywhere and all over and beyond just pics -- if you know what i mean]

Thanks for this -- much enjoyed just as it is. lynn

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

Very nice simple images...great example of how to say the abstractions beauty and solemnity by the use of imagery.

[Vasile Baghiu]

A very nice your poem, Rob! If mine, I would change in the 5th line the “too” with “so” and in the final passage I would eliminate the “wonderful” or I would change it with “undefined”, ‘unique” or something like that, either. Just me! Thanks for the read!
Vasile

[ramadevi]

Really enjoyed this...the tone and flavor of it, the imagery.
I love the line about the guitar...all curves and potential. Brilliant...and true. Also liked what follows...too many books, the guitar has only five strongs.

I do not think the dashes after lines 3 and 4 are necessary. But if you keep them, then the "Too" should not be capitalized (i think).

After line 9 i think a semi-colon works better than a comma (or even a dash!)

Great closing.

Really good poem!

[Ron Buck (halfshell)]

i keep going back and forth with "incomplete" and "augmented". other than that... lovely.

tidings
ron

[syzygy73]

Thank you all for your suggestions that I have ignored and included...

I haven't been able to write anything good for a long time (I'm sure you've all been there), but last night I began with the guitar and red cushion and just wrote.

I called it 'To the poets' because it's for you guys- and in general, for those who know that inspiration can strike at any time-

reading your poems put me in the mood.

The silence is the peace achieved from writing...

Thanks you-

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Rob great move on the line switch, small thing, great effect. Keep the guitar and the red cushion handy. This is excellent stuff. Ron